Friday, May 18, 2012

ROSHOGOLLAS AND INTERNET ON "B"HODA-FONE , ANYONE ? :-)



Being a Bengali, often subjects you to misconceptions .... like ....

1. The allegation that you eat fish all the time (We are not eternal Piscevores ...Spare us please !!! )

2.  After the movie "Kahaani" was released ...I have been pestered with cat-calls of "Bidaaa Madam" ... (Not all of us have Roshogollas in our mouths while speaking :-(   )

and lastly....

3. The gaff that insinuates that we Bengalis "EAT" everything...including water... (DO NOT punish me for my ancestor's lingual errors)

If you are wondering how the above mentioned laments are related to Mobile Internet / Vodafone and are already making me out to be a crazy loony toon ... then let me stop you right there and tell you about a "BAA-N-GALI" parody that underscored the fact that Mobile Internet was Fun-Tastic to say the least...

It all began on a lazy evening in the Satellite city of Navi Mumbai, when I was regretting my decision of shaving off my goatee, when my Phone blared out....

My grandfather (whom I address as Dadu and who addresses me as "nanaji" ) let out a large snort akin to the one he reserves for Mamata's Banerjee's goof-ups and Sourav Ganguly's fielding bloopers ("He jaa-aast caaaant field, tha-aat one !! ")  and hollered out ,"I weeel throw your phone out of the window...Even the prime minister of India d-aaa-s not get as many calls as you do "...

To this I flashed a smile that would floor any woman (at-least that is what I felt) and sat down next to my mother and my grand-father on the bed along with my iPhone and my iPad...

I placed the iPad in front of my Mother and introduced it with a flourish ... "This is the iPad...."

"Ehhh ??? ", she said , "Is this a three dimensional mouse-pad? "

I mentally bashed my head on Chris Gayle's biceps five times over and then turned to my mom with another charming smile on my face...


  "This is a tablet Mamoni !!! Its a very smart device and it lets you have fun ", I said...

"You mean that it helps you waste time ..." , she retorted...

"Wait...", I quickly downloaded Angry Birds from the Vodafone Vstore onto my iPad  and observed my Grandfather's and Mother's faces as the iPad merrily chirped away the trademark opening tune...

"Hehehehehehehe....", along came my younger brother and plonked his tiny Angry Bird stuffed toy on my iPad... I captured the moment with my iPhone and uploaded it instantly on Facebook ,not realising that my friends would declare it to be one of the most iconic pictorial mobile uploads in their lifetime...


"What ees this ??", queried my grandfather in a tone similar to Darth Vader (Star Wars)...

"Ever plucked mangoes out of trees with your catapult in your village, when you were a young boy?", I asked. 

"Yes, I de-eed", he remarked cautiously...

"Well then ... give this a go", I smiled and slid it over to him .. He watched with amazement as I showed him how to topple the green hobogoblins and monkeys over...

Ten minutes later, my Grandfather was sitting up on the bed with his knees drawn close to his chest and fingers blazing away on the iPad while my mother was firing away on all cylinders on my iPhone...

"Moni...I have finished th-ee-s level as well", my grandfather bellowed. "Wait a moment Bapi", my mother responded, " I am almost done as well"..

I was trembling with laughter from the inside...To see these two grown-ups , who were severely critical of my "smart-devices", just a few moments ago, have so much fun while using them , was a sight that could most certainly NOT be purchased with a MasterCard...

Suddenly my iPhone beeped and the following screen popped up...


"Who is this Deepika ??? ", my Mother roared like a lioness, "And is that a baby ??? Whose baby is this ?? "
"Girlfriend...girlfriend !!!" , my brother squeaked, dancing about like the little Vodafone pug....

"Shut up...", I whispered..."She is my friend Mamoni", I gulped...

"What a pretty little baby ...This is her niece and this is an online Application called Whatsapp ! It helps me chat with my friends and share pictures, music and other stuff"

By then my Grandfather's interest had been piqued and he was bending over my phone to investigate who this Deepika really was...

"By the way Mom, do you want to create an e-mail ID ? " I ventured, trying to divert the topic away from my girl-friend and the CBI style inquisitions..

My Mom smiled " You dont have to be shy son..I know who she is...She is the one you stay up talking all night to ..  :-) "

"Yeah !!!", I blanched... "Vodafone ...Cheap local calling..." I blabbered... Sheesh !!! My mom could give Sherlock a run for his money...

I then sat down with her and via my Gmail App .... created my mom's first e-mail ID - supertuhina@gmail.com

I placed my hands over her hands and helped her slowly type out her very first e-mail to her friend Kalpana..

This was what she wrote :

Hi Kalpana,

I am writing this mail to you using my son's i-pad. Please e-mail me on this address from now on.. Are onions and tomatoes cheaper in the market near your place. Do let me know. How are your husband and in-laws doing ?

Lots of Love,
Tuhina
:-)

After she ended with a smiley and pressed the "send' button, she looked at me, grinning from ear to ear and said, "Wow ...this was fun :-) "

"Oh Yeah Mom !! You just echoed the topic that might help me win a MacBook and enjoy the rest of my life watching movies on it with my head on Deepika's lap", I thought...

"What eeees theeees ? "...My grandfather's exclamation, jerked me out of my pleasant reverie and made me pay attention to him.... 

I shuffled over to him , only to notice that his was pointing at the DLF-IPL icon...

"Oh this ??", I said non-chalantly, "this is an application that gives you ball-by-ball updates and streams the match live onto my phone".

"The Match ??? Li-bh-e??? On theee-eees?", he asked...his eyes wide with wonderment..

I launched the application and was faced with a familiar situation ten minutes later..
My grandfather was sitting on his haunches as usual and hurling the choicest abuses at Ganguly...

"He let this ball go through...bhhetw-eeeen his leeee-ggs...Stupeee-eed fool", my grandfather ranted..
He then looked up from the mobile screen and smiled at me "Theees eees fun :-) "

I desperately pushed the recurring images of me, with my head on Deepika's lap along with my fantasy prize (The Macbook), out of my head, and smiled back at him.." Of Course it is :-) "

"Let me show you something else folks...", I announced.

I rushed over to the kitchen...handed the iPad over to my bewildered Grandmother, launched Skype, instructed her to keep staring at it and then rushed back...gathered my mom and grandfather before the iPhone and launched Skype...I screamed at my younger brother to help my grandmother accept the call...

"Hello Tulu !!!!! (my grandmother's nick-name) " , my grandfather squealed...gawking at delight on seeing my grandmother, who almost dropped the i-Pad out of fright, "Are you cooooking feee-eeesh? "

We all had a hearty laugh while my younger brother explained stuff to my nervous grandmother (so that she would'nt start believing that the India TV's Baba's words were true...)

" I now have a gift for you Dadu !! " I intoned...

"Whae eee-ees it ?" he asked..

I moved quickly...as quick as a cheetah...and downloaded a song from the Vodafone Gallery (can you believe it...?? Just for Re 1 ??????) and played it over my phone's speakers...

The notes of the song "Ekla Cholo Re" floated across the room in Amitabh's baritone....

"Aaaaaah " said my grandfather with his eyes closed ... "Oooomi-taaa-bh er ki gola !!!!" (which when translated into English means "What a good voice Amitabh has !! " )

While he was lost in the song, I downloaded the Adobe Ideas app on my iPad and taught my mom how to draw using her fingers...It was as if she had rediscovered her childhood again :-)

This is what she drew :-)




My Grandfather on the other hand smartly took the iPad from her hand and dedicated the following masterpiece to me :-)\



(What he meant what that I had forgotten to pay him my Society's monthly fee which was charged for my Bike Parking privileges)

"Talking of money...", I said ,"Here is how I am going to make you rich today", I told my grandfather...




He gawked as I transferred his monthly grocery expenses via net-banking and whispered ,"eee-ees it safe ?" into my ear...

"Bhel", he said , after we were getting up to have dinner, "Nanaji, theee-ees was fun...we should do it more often :-) ...Here...have a Roshogolla !! " , he said, with a twinkle in his eye, "Your Bhoda-fone connection seems to be good".

"Its "V"odafone Dadu !!", I said, "Not "Bho"dafone :-)"

"But that is what I said ...Bhodafone", replied my Grandfather quizzically.

"Never mind", I smiled and said as we left for dinner..

BTW..This is what I drew on my turn :-) ["Is this a jooojoo?", my grandfather asked. " No its a "ZooZoo"..", I remarked ]


Now, if your Bengali grandfather says "eeet eees fun "...I can assuredly say that "Mobile internet on Bhodafone ees fun :-) "

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If you doubt a Bengali blogger (and his family's) sanity..please "bhi"sit   www.vodafone.in/fun


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Images - Internet is fun on Vodafone : Courtesy - Vodafone

This post has been submitted as a part of the "Internet is fun" on Vodafone contest , powered by Vodafone and Indiblogger.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

DRUNK ON "VOD" KA NET :-)



Disclaimer : This post is a work based on true facts (You'd better trust me !!! ). Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of my imagination or creativity or have been used blandly (because I am a lazy bum !! ). Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely intentional and maybe the result of me bribing you, to use your ideas for this post. 









If Mark Anthony would have been present during the mobile-internet era, I am sure he would have hollered out "Facebook !!! Real Time Chatting !!! and Countless Apps !! Lend me your ears !!! " instead of his regular "Friends, Romans and Countrymen" eulogy...


I remember the good old days when I used to be a part of my college debating team. The most common norm when a speaker used to introduce his / her speech, was to pick up an important phrase or word that was a part of the topic and then define it according to the Oxford / Webster dictionary... (which then was followed by boos from the crowd along with popcorn being tossed into the air as a mark of protest against the lame start)


Since there is no chance of me being booed or swamped with popcorn, I ll adopt this methodology and define "FUN" according to some sources that I found convincing....


I ll hit you with two quotations :


"Fun is the enjoyment of pleasure" [Kinda kinky :-) ]


"Fun is an absolutely primary category of life, familiar to everybody at a glance right down to the animal level." : Johan Huizinga 


If I take these two quotations apply it to the fascinating world of Mobile Internet,then I can instantly divide the entire landscape into four parts....


1. Its fun when your favourite things are affordable and cheap (For eg...My mom hosted a dinner party to celebrate the fact that she had purchased Onions from a grocer, for an amount , 5 Rupees cheaper than the one who usually supplies it to her)


2. Its fun when something is portable and accessible on the go (For eg...It is rumoured that one of my friends went throughout the IPL IV season without taking a bath or moving out of the house because he believed that his beloved team [Mumbai Indians] would perform badly if he abandoned the TV screen....later he switched to 3G and never abandoned his Mobile screen)


3. Its fun when a digital device can convey emotions (For eg..







One of my other friends had this weird ritual of kissing his mobile cause he believed that the kissing the kissie emoticon [sent by his girlfriend over Whatsapp] was the best way of believing that he was kissing her goodnight..
)

4. Its fun when you can virtually be at places where you physically cannot be present and when you can brag about your sense of direction to women (For eg.. My cousins chat with each other using Apple's Facetime, wearing their boxers because it temporarily creates an illusion, wherein they believe that that they are in the same room and not thousands of miles apart)

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Now, let me...with much aplomb ,akin to Shekhar Suman introducing his ummmm somewhat "wonderful" show nowadays) tell you why Vodafone manages to emulate Yuvraj Singh and tonk a full monty of sixes in the Mobile Internet sphere with respect to the above enlisted points....

  • When was the last time that you downloaded songs legally and that too, for Re 1??? It is as great as watching a movie with Scarlet Johansson in it only to find out that Megan Fox plays the baddie... When was the last time you downloaded wallpapers (like the one I have posted below :-) ) and Videos for Re 1? As far as I know...not before now.. Downloading music and videos whenever and wherever you want to at affordable rates (remember...my mom and the onions :-) ) and blocking your parent's scoldings out (at the cost of being rude), adds pizazz to your hand-held device... I LOVE downloading my apps from the Vodafone VStore because I get to pay for them in Indian Rupees :-) The convenience is much appreciated by lazy customers like me :-) 

  • I still remember the day when I spilt coffee on my boss's lap...knocked over his "USB" fan and then socked my colleague where it hurts :-) No..it was not a "I am fed up with my work" rebellion...It was my reaction when Manchester United drew 3-3 with Chelsea after being 0-3 down...and I was catching all the action live on my iPhone in my boss's cabin...I have had serious FUN posting stuff on-line on my Facebook community wherein I have daily altercations with my friends who support other clubs....We fight, slaughter, abuse and quarrel like a bunch of rowdy dogs until we all have a good laugh at the end of it... I have danced with my colleague (wearing a pink lungi) when we watched Chennai Super Kings win an IPL match after hitting a six off the last ball...only to be scolded by a grandpa  in a pair of pink"er" boxers, who told us off for screaming too loudly. Streaming is smooth and un-interrupted on Vodafone 3G...which is another reason to dance happily :-) 






  • I had the most AMAZING time during my trip to Goa !!! Our hotel was horrible, I lost my sun-glasses in the sea (which was then miraculously retrieved by my friend as the tide plonked it into his arms while he was swimming), we visited the most shady nightclub and missed our return train only to come back in a luggage train...but every moment was filled with laughter and some great company :-) These moments were captured by me using my iPhone and edited using the iMovie app....the video now resides on Youtube (where it was uploaded after numerous requests) and is the source of wonderful memories (like Dhoni tonking the World Cup winning 6 and Rooney scoring the wondrous overhead goal against Manchester City)...Uploading was nice n smooth over Vodafone's 3G network :-) 









  • I have been rescued several times over when I am touring proper Mumbai ( I have as much knowledge about the streets as Ronaldo has about cricket) because of my Sat-nav and Google Maps App.  At times when I am hopelessly lost and cannot figure out the way, I always have a friend I can turn to....  I do not have to address random strangers as "bhaiya" [in Mumbai it is considered offensive] and be encountered with glares, or disgusted looks by people who take an objection to being called "uncle" (cause they are young at heart) when I ask them for directions... It is fun imagining yourself to be the sprightly arrow on the map as you squirm around and try to reach your objective...the big pin...its similar to solving a puzzle...

  • It is fun to witness the blurring of physical boundaries when I call my friends over Skype and talk as if President Obama is going to pay our phone bills (which he would be happy to, considering Vodafone's economical Internet packs) .... Its brilliant to see my baby niece coo and gurgle and unknowingly aim a jet-stream of pee right at the phone-camera :-)

What do I derive from Vodafone's slogan "Power to you? "...

I think that it helps you beat the rat race in many ways and be a smarter worker...It helps you to converge a world of possibilities, avenues and intricate threads into your pocket / the palm of your hand / under your pillow (while sleeping :-) ) In short it helps you to embrace F-U-N...

So you dont have to do this anymore :-)







Let me re-frame William Blake's masterpiece "Tiger" for you, as an ode to Mobile Internet (my apologies to you Sir William, but a Macbook is at stake here !!!) 

Mobile Internet...burning bright...
On our mobile screens..both day and night...
What addictive app or song
Could frame thy fun-filled symmetry...

In what distant land or skies
Burnt the fun-filled bonfire of thine?
Using Whatsapp did we aspire..
To beat BBM did we desire...

And what Angry Birds..And what Temple Run...
Could make time pass with loads of fun...
And when thine Maps began to greet..
Blessed were the lost visitors with cars or on feet..

When the world...updated their statuses...
And tweeted to one another from all the cracks and crevices..
Did you smile, your work to see..
Did he who made the "Fart Sound" app, make thee?

Mobile Internet...burning bright...
On our mobile screens..both day and night...
What addictive app or song
Could frame thy fun-filled symmetry...


To round it off, let me pay heed to my dear friend who has been religiously poking me with a thumb tack from behind and asking me to present proof that this post was written using my Mobile phone...

There you go ...

  
If you are from the 18th century and have arrived here in a time-machine, or if you wish to know why Internet on Vodafone is fun (in-case you did not read the above mentioned points I have been screaming myself hoarse about) ...please/kindly do visit www.vodafone.in/fun

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Images :

"Internet is fun on Vodafone" - Courtsey : Vodafone

This post has been submitted as a part of the "Internet is fun" contest on Indiblogger.


Monday, May 14, 2012

AROUND MY "V"ORLD IN 80 MINUTES....



"The only reason why people get lost in thought, is because it is unfamiliar territory"


This was more or less my predicament before I was inducted into the world of mobile Internet and before I undertook that fun-filled journey that changed my "V"orld  forever.

I will now undertake the task of assigning names to all the characters in my plot, a little differently from what Jules Vernes assigned to his motley group of thrill-seekers in his book "Around the World in 80 days".

1. Myself : Silly-eous Dog  [SD]   (Phileas Fogg - in the original novel) - Owns an iPhone.

2. Nagarajan Parasuraman : Pass-the-ball-out   [PB]   (Passepartout - in the original novel) - Owns a Nokia Lumia.

3. Deepika Shrivastava : Aao-na   [AN]  (Aouda - in the original novel) - Owns a Nokia C3.



(Left to right : Pass-the-ball-out, Aao-na, Silly-eous Dog)

(P.S : So that it becomes easier for you to visualise the story :-D )

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6:00 PM - Sunday

Silly-eous Dog and his faithful accomplice, Pass-the-ball-out, are engaged in a "serious" game of Kick-my-Boss, on their mobile phones while sipping on Bournvita.

SD : Hahahahaha ... Look Pass-the ball-out,  I have cut my boss into tiny pieces using a Samurai Sword...

PB :  I have bettered you Sir, I have punctured him using millions of pins and have given him the most horrible wedgie ever hahahahahahaha

SD : Cheers Pass-the-Ball out !!!!

[Tries to clink glasses, but ends up spilling the drink onto Pass-the-ball-out's pink pants]

PB : Damn Sir !!! To clean Brown stains on pink pants is a feat as impossible as removing Sachin Tendulkar from the current Indian Team.

SD :  Enough Pass-the-ball-out...I am fed up of your Sachinisms !!! [Goes for a violent swig of Bournvita , but discovers that he has spilt all of it]  BTW, any idea of what the score is ?

PB : Just a moment Sir... [Checks the score using the Cricbuzz app] Mumbai Indians are on top Sir !! Sachin has scored a fifty !!!

SD : Hehehehehe [Gloats gleefully]

Suddenly Justin Bibier's "Baby" blares out from Silly-eous Dog's phone..... 

PB : Is this your new ring tone Sir ?

SD : Yes, I downloaded it last night, amazingly fast...Vodafone's download speeds are great !!!

PB : [sniggers and snorts into his Bournvita] Baby indeed....

SD : [conversing with Aao-na]  Hello....yes....Hi Aao-na :-) ....I am at home...What? You want a green jade neck-piece?...But the only two neck-pieces I know about are the hang-man's noose and my bachelor's tie...I was only joking Dear...Of course, I am not crazy...My Mother had me tested !!! You need it in 80 minutes ??? Why ??? Oh !! So that loon is celebrating her birthday tonight... No No No No No Dear !!! Did you hear loon ?? I said "boon"...I meant , "What a boon that she is celebrating her birthday tonight !!!" I ' ll get it for you in 80 minutes flat, don't you worry...bbye..."

PB :  I understand that we have a quest ahead of us..

SD : Yes indeed !!! my faithful accomplice...There will be a day when mankind will fall in the search for green jade necklaces ...but not today...There will be a day when wolves will howl...but not this day !!!! There will be....

PB : [Interrupts] Sir, is this Shakespeare ?

SD : No Pass-the ball-out !! This is Aaragorm's speech from Lord of the Rings- Return of the King..I was downloading it from YouTube..Here..Have a peek..

PB : Extremely good picture quality Sir !! and may I add, what fast downloading speeds !!!

SD : What did you expect ? Its Vodafone 3G! I told you so :-) Now lets get cracking...we need to find a green jade necklace and buy it !

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6:10 PM

SD : [Screaming] COME OUT OF THE BATHROOM PASS-THE-BALL-OUT !!! HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ???????

PB : Something is wrong with the Bournvita Sir !! [groans]

[Silly-eous's phone beeps]

SD : Hmmmm... A Whatsapp message from Aao-na... Hmmmm... So this is what the neckpiece should resemble [Looks at the image and scratches his head] Cool...atleast I know what to refer to :-)

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6:20 PM

SD : [Screaming] HOW MUCH LONGER ???

PB : Let me put on a pair of jeans atleast!! You have ruined my pink pants if your memory fails you Sir ! I' ll be as quick as Sachin between the wickets !!

SD : [bellows] I' LL KILL YOU !!!!

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6:30 PM

SD : Thank goodness, we are finally outside ! I ll just check Google Maps to find a jewellery or trinket store ! [grumbles] Sports Stores and Grocery Stores I can handle but this.... [shivers] Aaahh !!! We are in luck, there is one in Sector 29...Hurry Pass-the-Ball-out !!! [Kisses his phone]

PB : I just checked the bus routes on Google Sir !!! Bus number 529 should plonk us right in the heart of action...

SD : [affectionately / grudgingly ] Sometimes you amaze me Pass-the-Ball-out :-)

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 6:40 PM

SD : How long is this infernal bus ride going to last ???? And what exactly are you upto Pass-the-ball-out??

PB : Am ordering a pair of pink pants online Sir ! Its so easy n fun n convenient ! 

SD : [grumbles] You and your pink pants !!!!! By the way...you are sitting on a wad of bubblegum that someone left sticking to your seat...

PB : AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH !!!!!

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6:45 PM

SD : [rushing into the shop] Hurry up Pass-the-ball-out !!! Excuse me Sir ! Would you be having a neck-piece that looks something like this picture ?   

SHOPKEEPER : Of Course ! We have this piece packaged and imported from Hong-Kong. 300 rupees Sir ....

SD : Hmmm... Are you sure about the price ?

SHOPKEEPER :  Yes Sir ! you wont find a cheaper piece in any of the surrounding shops...

Silly-eous fiddles with his phone...

PB : What are you up to Sir ?

SD : [whispers] Keep him distracted..I am downloading an app...

PB : [whispers] Okay... [loudly] Is there a shop that sells pink pants around here ?

SHOPKEEPER : Ehhh ?????

SD : Shut up Pass-the-ball-out !! Am done with the downloading !! [mutters] Vodafone 3G jai ho !! [turns to the Shopkeeper ] Well my dear friend...could you hand me the box ?

The shopkeeper hands over the packed neck-piece box to Silly-eous who scans the box with his cell..

SD : You are a convincing liar... I ll give you that :-) I scanned your box bar-code with this amazing app called RedLaser  and found out that the MRP is Rs 180 only :-) Do you think that I am a doodle in pink pants to fall for your lies and your custom made MRP sticker??? eh ??? [shows the cell to the shopkeeper]

SHOPKEEPER : [gulps and surrenders meekly] So sorry Sir !!! Take it for Rupees 150 but please dont bad-mouth our shop !!!!

SD : Hmmmm...Deal...Gift wrap the box please !!!!

PB : Sir !! You are a genius !! This is so cool !!! It was so much fun looking at the shopkeeper's face !!

SD : I try Pass-the-ball-out... I try :-)

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7:00 PM (20 minutes from zero hour)

SD : All is lost Pass-the-ball-out !!! We cant reach Aao-na's place in time.... No bus can reach her house within 20 minutes and there is not a single auto-rickshaw to be seen...I will be slaughtered [weeps] I have failed!! I am ruined....

PB : Worry not Sir !! I have summoned a cool cab :-) Apparently there is an app to check whether there are any cabs in the vicinity and summon them to your location. The cab is already on its way :-) Infact...there it is :-)

SD : If there was a noble prize for an accomplice, I would cover it with pink confetti and offer it to you right away :-) Let us clink ibeers :-)



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7:15 PM

SD : Well, we are almost there :-) What a fun-filled day Pass-the-ball-Out :-) Our Vodafone powered Mobile Internet has been of great help...has it not ? :-)

PB :  Of course Sir ! But there are two things it did not help us with... 1. Manchester United lost the title and 2. You have forgotten the neck-piece at the shop....just like Sachin kept missing out on his hundredth hundred !!! there are no apps for these disasters :-)

SD : [hollers] PASS-THE-BALL-OUT !!! YOU INFERNAL BUFFOON !!!!


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"You will be served better if you are reading this blog post on your mobile device as I have written it via one :-) "

This blog post has been submitted as an entry for the "INTERNET IS FUN ON VODAFONE CONTEST" powered by Vodafone and Indiblogger.



Thank you Deepika, Nagarajan and Vodafone :-) Here is power to you at www.vodafone.in/fun

Images : Courtsey Vodafone

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

INTERNET ON SADDA - PHONE...WORKS BEST WITH VODAFONE :-)



Statutory Warning : Laughter is subject to your mood. Please check your bladder, patience level and phone for messages before investing (your time !!! )

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When you are singing "You and I, in this beautiful world" and skipping on the green grass under the blue skies with your smartphone :-) , you are surely suffering from the IIFOV (Internet is fun on Vodafone) Syndrome.

Internet on smart-phones and mid-tier phones has certainly opened up a plethora of engaging and exciting gateways that can transmit you to worlds full of music, videos, news, games and lot more.... With the advent of 3G in India, "Munni" can be "badnaam" and "Sheila" can be "jawaan", not only on the multiplex screens/TV/Desktops , but also on the smart-phone of a Bollywood music connoisseur who is travelling from Vashi to Bandra via AC bus :-)

Here is how, in all actuality, according to me , Internet on Vodafone is fun , because Internet on Sadda (Read : my) Phone, works best with Vodafone :


  • We all know how much fun , the Big Fat Indian Wedding is....Sweat, Fire, Laddus and Loose Dhotis aside, a wedding in the family, is one hell of an event. My girlfriend's sister attended her brother's wedding live from Los Angeles via Skype...The element that streamed the happy pictures from the Himalayan Republic to Uncle Sam's backyard, was an iPhone 4, dutifully carted around by relatives to capture the action over Vodafone's robust 3G network that penetrated even the the underside of the buffet table (where the groom's shoes were hidden) . She witnessed everything first hand and even tried to touch her brother's face, carried away by all the emotions.(After some time she realised that it was futile because it was actually the PHONE she was touching). She laughed and cried and had the most memorable time.

  • I booked a movie ticket for the most kickass movie in recent times..Avengers (!!!!!), in my boss's cabin via the Book My Show app and availed the Vodafone Tuesday Movie discount offer, while my other colleagues were engaged in activities like nose digging, bird watching and throat clearing...I then came outside, downloaded the Movie trailer while I poured myself a coffee from the vending machine, downloaded "Temple Run" while I bent down to tie my shoe-laces and asked my girl-friend out for the movie over "WhatsApp" ..by the time I reached my cubicle...Now this is serious fun :-)

  •  Challenged the big, beefy co-worker (who was stealing credit for all my work) to a bout of Modern Combat 2 over our iPhones and derived every bit of the sadistic pleasure that was on offer, as I slaughtered his army with a ruthlessness that is only reserved for Hide n Seek biscuits (when they fall prey to my cruel stomach on a late night snacking mission). I laughed my head off maniacally for the next few weeks whenever he crossed my cubicle... only to see him whimper with terror and resentment.

  • Created my slides for this post using my phone, uploaded them to my Picasa Web Album over Vodafone's wonderful network with superior uplink capabilities, poked two absconding friends on Facebook, commented on Manchester United's abysmal performance on Twitter and engaged in a verbal duel with my friends...(so much so, that our abuses would have given Queen Elizabeth a heart-attack and would have driven a stake into the heart of Shakespeare in his grave), downloaded this beautiful song that I heard on the radio (while I waited for my Maggie to cook ), emailed my friend some long-pending stuff and checked out a new shop to buy Manchurian Masala from (cause according to my mom, our local grocer was ripping us off !!! the Blasphemy !!! ) using Location Based Services ...and finally streamed the episode of "Bade Achche lagte Hain" so that my Mom could be at peace after having missed it the previous day (cause she was threatening make me wash my stale pile of used clothing right away !!!)

  • And finally (phew !!!), I used Mobile Banking to transfer money to my mom's account , used "WhatsApp" to inform her that my Brother's tution fees for the next semester was now aggregated (only to hear her bless me :-) ), shot a picture of the local lassi wala and tagged my friends in it, only to have them arrive at the location within the hour and create fond memories of our entire group sporting "lassi moustaches" (which was uploaded as our Cover picture on Facebook soon-after), looked up a couple of emergency quotes for a toast at a friends wedding (THANK YOU GOOGLE !!!) and found my way home after looking up the BEST bus timings (GOOGLE !!! I AM A FAN !!! MARRY ME !! ) and plonking myself in the home-ward bound AC Bus.....

Now, that is why I think "Internet Over Vodafone" is good, great and serious fun. I 'd love all my readers to spare a few more seconds and have a dekko at the slide show below. In my own mad, funny (read : pathetic) and innocent (yeah right !!! ) way, I ll try and end with some of Ravi Shastri's favourite dialogues that have been moulded to suit this post.... 

" Internet over Vodafone...has travelled like a tracer bullet. They have the license to go the full monty here and THEY HAVE DONE IT !!!! Ten Dosas and Uttapams to you , Vodafone !!!! " :-)

If you want to ignore whatever I have written and try to sue me in court for indecent "expo...." oops !!! I meant ...indecent promotion, I suggest that you go to www.vodafone.in/fun and confirm the truth in my blabberings. Here's power to you :-)

Thank you Vodafone and thank you, Deepika Shrivastava :-)

Cheers and Ciao...




Images :
Internet is fun on Vodafone - Courtsey : Vodafone

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This blog post has been submitted as an entry for the "INTERNET IS FUN ON VODAFONE CONTEST" powered by Vodafone and Indiblogger.

Friday, May 4, 2012

MY SMART PHONE'S WIFE : VODA-NET


I am back :-) After a long hiatus :-) The intermediate time space was wonderful. I enjoyed my blog-less sabbatical like an archaeologist who has stumbled upon a new Raptor fossil.

I made a few acquisitions in the  interim ... notedly an iPhone and...its grown up cousin...the iPad. As a concerned device parent, I immediately began my search for a suitable bride that would transform my gadgets into powerful Jedi Knights (I am on an exaggeration trip here, so, please bear with me :-) )



 Since I am a stickler for quality, I stick with Vodafone for most of my telco needs...And even in this regard, I consume their internet data packs at a frenzied pace, faster than rabbits can multiply (Thank you, Navjot Singh Siddhu :-) ) Mostly it is the Rs 99 for 1GB of data, pack, that I go for...It more than covers my browsing and entertainment needs...

The thing about Vodafone that makes me so loyal to the brand is the plethora of services that they provide in an encapsulated customer-delight centric package. That is what makes Internet over Vodafone fun :-)
Since the entire country has jumped onto the 3G bandwagon, one cannot but feel tempted to be a part of the revolution...and I more than count on the Zoozoo masters for my 3G needs. Fast, dependable and excellent..Vodafone 3G is a class apart from other operators.. 

I ll now cut to the chase and talk about the benefits, like Gandalf the Grey talks about "Frodo Baggins" :-) 

1. I gave my old Nokia smart phone to my mom (who after hours of vehement protests regarding her inability to handle "such a big phone" , conceded defeat and accepted my offer) and set her up with one of the applications that is creating such a huge ripple across the app space... "Whatsapp" !!!! Now my mother is online 24 x 7 and keeps me updated about her work (she is a librarian) by sharing pictures of her workplace and sends me recorded audio notes that consist of scoldings to make me eat on time and dire warnings that keep from speeding home on my bike. 

                                              



Plus add to it, my football friends who keep pinging me whenever their damned clubs have triumphed against Manchester United or my female friends who send me pictures of the "pretty pair of shoes on sale" that they happened to stumble across in the mall :-)

In essence, I feel like a spider, sitting at the centre of my web, that entangles all my near and dear ones...whenever someone quivers..I can feel the tremors :-) Sounds kinda gross, doesn't it? But I hope you get the picture (I can imagine the language purists going , "Ermmm ... no...we dont get it" ) 

Vodafone's Connectivity and download speeds makes downloading apps a breeze.....It might seem to be a very generic and boring use-case...but trust me, it is so much easier to instantly download the app onto your device if a friend recommends their favourite game or app during a hang-out session.Football scores, Cricket Scores, News and blogs are now much easier to access...

For eg. After watching an episode of "The Big bang Theory", I downloaded this "Whipcrack" app, that is a fun tool to use when you want your colleagues to pay attention. All you have to do is jerk your hand (holding the phone of course) in a whip-like motion..and you will be the proud producer of the most authentic whip sound ever produced by a digital device :-) Its kinda fun to wield the whip (if you know what I mean :-) )




2. Where would the world be without Angry birds?? or games like Temple run ??


Using Gamecenter, I can post my scores online and have the satisfaction of beating my friends (evil cackle)

3. I simply could not write a post based on this topic without including : 


As I am a Facebook addict and my posts and status updates are as important to me as a drug addict's little box of cocaine, the internet on my phone gives me the power to be online and be socially-virtually present all the time :-) I am sure this is one of the major benefits that everybody enjoys... Posting pictures and sharing them is quick and fast, thanks to Vodafone's superior uplink network.



This coupled with sat-nav, GPS and photo-tagging are some of the services that I frequently use whenever I am on foot or exploring. They are extremely useful tool to possess if you are in an unknown location and if you suffer from the I-AM-PAINFULLY-SHY-AND -I-CANT-ASK-RANDOM-STRANGERS-FOR-DIRECTIONS syndrome.



4. Now when it comes to Videos :-) I have a hobby for creating music videos and poetry recitals ( I am a straight Poetry lover :-) ) ... (Find me on youtube@superabhik).. Sharing Videos over Facebook and email becomes a treat...Getting reviews and comments from my friends about my videos is so much more easier...Catching the latest trailers and clips on Youtube is convenient and a great way to pass time (when you are travelling in AC buses with an hour to kill). The streaming quality is superior thanks to Vodafone's strong GSM coverage.



5. Accessing E-mails and responding to them has become one of my most favourite features on my phone. What's the big deal about it? :-) Let me explain....
It is ok if you are using a common email service provider like Gmail, but when you are using an exclusive office mail client like IBM Lotus Notes, the scenario takes a 360 degree phase shift. Having a permanent internet connection and a Lotus application means that I can access my office mails any-time and anywhere...and can promptly reply much to the chagrin of my office mates who can only access their mails only via their office desktops....It is also a lot of fun to reply to mails, late at night, and poke fun at your friends by telling them that you stayed back late ;-D





I realize that my points are now progressively getting generic and boring and might be putting my readers to sleep...therefore, I will present my last and most touching point :-) (I am a shameless sympathy gainer ;-) )

6. One of my very good friends who went abroad to study, stumbled upon me by happy accident recently (No, he HATES FB [unbelievable !!!]  ). This happened via an app called Draw Something (Yes, I suffer from OCAUD- Obsessive Compulsive App Using Disorder :-D ). My friend, who has an iPhone as well, was using the app, when he asked the system to find him a random opponent for a game. The system then delved into its database and selected me as an opponent (Yayyyyy !!!! ) Nowadays, we play almost a couple of hours a day and I have had the chance to ask him for his e-mail address. I love happy endings :-) (I am sounding like a girl in pink shoes now !!!! )



Internet over Vodafone is the perfect match for my mobile device...I have my family and friends near me, my favourite apps..a couple of swipes away and a host of services that make my day a lot easier...fun and naughtier :-)

PS : I happen to have a Vodafone connection by coincidence..Go to www.vodafone.in/fun  and find out how you can be a happy father/mother-in-law to your mobile device and the internet :-) 

CIAO :-)
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This post has been submitted as a part of the "Internet is fun" contest powered by Vodafone and Indiblogger.
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