Friday, May 18, 2012

ROSHOGOLLAS AND INTERNET ON "B"HODA-FONE , ANYONE ? :-)



Being a Bengali, often subjects you to misconceptions .... like ....

1. The allegation that you eat fish all the time (We are not eternal Piscevores ...Spare us please !!! )

2.  After the movie "Kahaani" was released ...I have been pestered with cat-calls of "Bidaaa Madam" ... (Not all of us have Roshogollas in our mouths while speaking :-(   )

and lastly....

3. The gaff that insinuates that we Bengalis "EAT" everything...including water... (DO NOT punish me for my ancestor's lingual errors)

If you are wondering how the above mentioned laments are related to Mobile Internet / Vodafone and are already making me out to be a crazy loony toon ... then let me stop you right there and tell you about a "BAA-N-GALI" parody that underscored the fact that Mobile Internet was Fun-Tastic to say the least...

It all began on a lazy evening in the Satellite city of Navi Mumbai, when I was regretting my decision of shaving off my goatee, when my Phone blared out....

My grandfather (whom I address as Dadu and who addresses me as "nanaji" ) let out a large snort akin to the one he reserves for Mamata's Banerjee's goof-ups and Sourav Ganguly's fielding bloopers ("He jaa-aast caaaant field, tha-aat one !! ")  and hollered out ,"I weeel throw your phone out of the window...Even the prime minister of India d-aaa-s not get as many calls as you do "...

To this I flashed a smile that would floor any woman (at-least that is what I felt) and sat down next to my mother and my grand-father on the bed along with my iPhone and my iPad...

I placed the iPad in front of my Mother and introduced it with a flourish ... "This is the iPad...."

"Ehhh ??? ", she said , "Is this a three dimensional mouse-pad? "

I mentally bashed my head on Chris Gayle's biceps five times over and then turned to my mom with another charming smile on my face...


  "This is a tablet Mamoni !!! Its a very smart device and it lets you have fun ", I said...

"You mean that it helps you waste time ..." , she retorted...

"Wait...", I quickly downloaded Angry Birds from the Vodafone Vstore onto my iPad  and observed my Grandfather's and Mother's faces as the iPad merrily chirped away the trademark opening tune...

"Hehehehehehehe....", along came my younger brother and plonked his tiny Angry Bird stuffed toy on my iPad... I captured the moment with my iPhone and uploaded it instantly on Facebook ,not realising that my friends would declare it to be one of the most iconic pictorial mobile uploads in their lifetime...


"What ees this ??", queried my grandfather in a tone similar to Darth Vader (Star Wars)...

"Ever plucked mangoes out of trees with your catapult in your village, when you were a young boy?", I asked. 

"Yes, I de-eed", he remarked cautiously...

"Well then ... give this a go", I smiled and slid it over to him .. He watched with amazement as I showed him how to topple the green hobogoblins and monkeys over...

Ten minutes later, my Grandfather was sitting up on the bed with his knees drawn close to his chest and fingers blazing away on the iPad while my mother was firing away on all cylinders on my iPhone...

"Moni...I have finished th-ee-s level as well", my grandfather bellowed. "Wait a moment Bapi", my mother responded, " I am almost done as well"..

I was trembling with laughter from the inside...To see these two grown-ups , who were severely critical of my "smart-devices", just a few moments ago, have so much fun while using them , was a sight that could most certainly NOT be purchased with a MasterCard...

Suddenly my iPhone beeped and the following screen popped up...


"Who is this Deepika ??? ", my Mother roared like a lioness, "And is that a baby ??? Whose baby is this ?? "
"Girlfriend...girlfriend !!!" , my brother squeaked, dancing about like the little Vodafone pug....

"Shut up...", I whispered..."She is my friend Mamoni", I gulped...

"What a pretty little baby ...This is her niece and this is an online Application called Whatsapp ! It helps me chat with my friends and share pictures, music and other stuff"

By then my Grandfather's interest had been piqued and he was bending over my phone to investigate who this Deepika really was...

"By the way Mom, do you want to create an e-mail ID ? " I ventured, trying to divert the topic away from my girl-friend and the CBI style inquisitions..

My Mom smiled " You dont have to be shy son..I know who she is...She is the one you stay up talking all night to ..  :-) "

"Yeah !!!", I blanched... "Vodafone ...Cheap local calling..." I blabbered... Sheesh !!! My mom could give Sherlock a run for his money...

I then sat down with her and via my Gmail App .... created my mom's first e-mail ID - supertuhina@gmail.com

I placed my hands over her hands and helped her slowly type out her very first e-mail to her friend Kalpana..

This was what she wrote :

Hi Kalpana,

I am writing this mail to you using my son's i-pad. Please e-mail me on this address from now on.. Are onions and tomatoes cheaper in the market near your place. Do let me know. How are your husband and in-laws doing ?

Lots of Love,
Tuhina
:-)

After she ended with a smiley and pressed the "send' button, she looked at me, grinning from ear to ear and said, "Wow ...this was fun :-) "

"Oh Yeah Mom !! You just echoed the topic that might help me win a MacBook and enjoy the rest of my life watching movies on it with my head on Deepika's lap", I thought...

"What eeees theeees ? "...My grandfather's exclamation, jerked me out of my pleasant reverie and made me pay attention to him.... 

I shuffled over to him , only to notice that his was pointing at the DLF-IPL icon...

"Oh this ??", I said non-chalantly, "this is an application that gives you ball-by-ball updates and streams the match live onto my phone".

"The Match ??? Li-bh-e??? On theee-eees?", he asked...his eyes wide with wonderment..

I launched the application and was faced with a familiar situation ten minutes later..
My grandfather was sitting on his haunches as usual and hurling the choicest abuses at Ganguly...

"He let this ball go through...bhhetw-eeeen his leeee-ggs...Stupeee-eed fool", my grandfather ranted..
He then looked up from the mobile screen and smiled at me "Theees eees fun :-) "

I desperately pushed the recurring images of me, with my head on Deepika's lap along with my fantasy prize (The Macbook), out of my head, and smiled back at him.." Of Course it is :-) "

"Let me show you something else folks...", I announced.

I rushed over to the kitchen...handed the iPad over to my bewildered Grandmother, launched Skype, instructed her to keep staring at it and then rushed back...gathered my mom and grandfather before the iPhone and launched Skype...I screamed at my younger brother to help my grandmother accept the call...

"Hello Tulu !!!!! (my grandmother's nick-name) " , my grandfather squealed...gawking at delight on seeing my grandmother, who almost dropped the i-Pad out of fright, "Are you cooooking feee-eeesh? "

We all had a hearty laugh while my younger brother explained stuff to my nervous grandmother (so that she would'nt start believing that the India TV's Baba's words were true...)

" I now have a gift for you Dadu !! " I intoned...

"Whae eee-ees it ?" he asked..

I moved quickly...as quick as a cheetah...and downloaded a song from the Vodafone Gallery (can you believe it...?? Just for Re 1 ??????) and played it over my phone's speakers...

The notes of the song "Ekla Cholo Re" floated across the room in Amitabh's baritone....

"Aaaaaah " said my grandfather with his eyes closed ... "Oooomi-taaa-bh er ki gola !!!!" (which when translated into English means "What a good voice Amitabh has !! " )

While he was lost in the song, I downloaded the Adobe Ideas app on my iPad and taught my mom how to draw using her fingers...It was as if she had rediscovered her childhood again :-)

This is what she drew :-)




My Grandfather on the other hand smartly took the iPad from her hand and dedicated the following masterpiece to me :-)\



(What he meant what that I had forgotten to pay him my Society's monthly fee which was charged for my Bike Parking privileges)

"Talking of money...", I said ,"Here is how I am going to make you rich today", I told my grandfather...




He gawked as I transferred his monthly grocery expenses via net-banking and whispered ,"eee-ees it safe ?" into my ear...

"Bhel", he said , after we were getting up to have dinner, "Nanaji, theee-ees was fun...we should do it more often :-) ...Here...have a Roshogolla !! " , he said, with a twinkle in his eye, "Your Bhoda-fone connection seems to be good".

"Its "V"odafone Dadu !!", I said, "Not "Bho"dafone :-)"

"But that is what I said ...Bhodafone", replied my Grandfather quizzically.

"Never mind", I smiled and said as we left for dinner..

BTW..This is what I drew on my turn :-) ["Is this a jooojoo?", my grandfather asked. " No its a "ZooZoo"..", I remarked ]


Now, if your Bengali grandfather says "eeet eees fun "...I can assuredly say that "Mobile internet on Bhodafone ees fun :-) "

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If you doubt a Bengali blogger (and his family's) sanity..please "bhi"sit   www.vodafone.in/fun


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Images - Internet is fun on Vodafone : Courtesy - Vodafone

This post has been submitted as a part of the "Internet is fun" on Vodafone contest , powered by Vodafone and Indiblogger.

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