SHOLAY >>> RE POLITICIZED :) : PART 1

The world political scene is SO delightful ( and alarming ) today, so very comparable to SHOLAY… Ha ha ha ha ha … Every time I think of it, I collapse backwards laughing like a maniac…. Let us just put my point into perspective and enjoy a few laughs along the way because the way I see it, quite a few of our characters are going to be shot down in the most deplorable high noon cowboy style shootout, and no….. :) they are not going to be buried with their boots on :) [ which would be an honor they do not deserve , except for a select few ].

SHOLAY

Director : Hell….nobody, the film is recording itself :)

Producers : All the democrats.

Cast :

Jai – B. Obama

Veeru – McCain

Basanti- Sarah Palin

Dhanno- Vilaasrao Deshmukh

Radha- C. Rice

Thakur- Manmohan Singh

Ramlal – Laloo Prasad Yadav

Mausiji- Sonia Gandhi

Bade Imam Sahab- Nicolas Sarkozy

Gabbar- George Bush

Samba- Zardari

Kaalia – Richard B Cheney

Here are some of the famous dialogues and scenes twisted in my wicked way, if this film would really have been made :)

Gabbar : Ye nuclear deal ka green signal pehle tu de de thakur…..

Hum log tumhare baad sign karenge…

Thakur : Nahi, Nahi…..

Gabbar : De de, Thakur….. DE DE mujhe…….

Thakur : ( Sings SINGH IS KING loudly and dances about)

Basanti : waise sau bat ki ek baat yeh hai ki mai utna bolti nahi par mujhe mehnge mehnge kapde pehenkar debate mein jana achcha lagta hai

Veeru : Arre, tum meri ho jao, tumhe kabhi kapdon ki kami nahi hogi

Jai sits outside his quarters and plays GOD BLESS AMERICA on his mouthorgan while C. Rice switches the White House lights on and off slowly and repeatedly.

Gabbar : Kitne aadmi the?

Kaalia : Do sarkar…..

Gabbar : Usme se kahin ek aadmi bearded to nahi tha??

Kaalia : Osama? Nahi sarkar

Gabbar : 2 candidates aur tum 6 phaltoo chamche, yeh to sarasar mere liye buri khabar hai (4 saal aur white house mein masti karni thi ) badi naainsafi hai….

Kaalia : Sarkar, maine aapka White House ka jootha doughnut khaya hai Sarkar….

Gabbar : Le ab Iraq me daali hui bomb kha…..

Gabbar : Arre O Samba, election ke results kab hai ?

Samba : (Busy settling his hair with kilotons of gel) [starts and falls off his perch into the ravine below] : {calls out from below} Sorry Sardar, Pervez ne naya kabeela banaya hai Ramgadh ke paas…

Gabbar : Kitna inaam rakhkha hai Sarkar ne humare sar pe?

Samba : Poore, 50,000 Iraqi chicken tikke Sarkar…

Gabbar : Bahut yarana lagta hai tum dono mein, arre Chamakchalo hume bhi dikhao na do teen election campaigning ke secrets….

Veeru : Nahi Basanti, mat naachna in neech democrats ke saamne…

Gabbar : Jab tak tum high heel boots pehen kar naachogi, tab tak isko main Statue Of Liberty se neeche nahi giraanonga……

Veeru : Kutte, Kamine…. main tera White House wala milk shake pee jaoonga……

Thakur : Ramlal, mujhe mera shawl pehna do…..

Ramlal : abhi nahi…dhuut, abhi to Chaat Puja hai…main Bihar vapas jar raha hoon….

TO BE CONTINUED :)

DESI GIRL :) : THE BEAUTIFUL INDIAN WOMAN

I feel as if I know so much about the modern Indian woman already but everyday…. coming across a new member of the fast evolving breed of the dynamic Indian woman leaves me full of admiration and respect for the fairer and in no ways the “weaker” sex as they were previously labeled.

On an average, Indian woman have progressed considerably over the past half a century.

There are still sections of the society where improvement is required but the day of equality is not far away….it most definitely is not far away…….

I would love to define an average Indian woman or the perfect “Desi Girl” as the film Dostana puts it :)

The Indian woman is beautiful…. From within as well as well from the outside….committed to her work and to her roots….

The Indian woman is the embodiment of multitasking….She is a mother, a housewife, a daughter, a boss ( or an employee )…..and so much more…

The Indian woman is a picture of utmost gorgeousness … the manner in which she drapes the chunni, the manner in which she brushes that lock of hair out of her eyes, the manner in which they blush when they receive a compliment, the manner in which they stand up and face the world when they fight for a cause, the manner in which they laugh when they feel free from within…..

The Indian woman sacrifices without blaring their horns…they will silently sacrifice for the greater good and not let anybody know about the pain they went through.

The Indian women have evolved into a confident force who refuse to be taken lying down and are determined to make their mark.

The Indian woman is always the patient listener who calms you down, makes you see the positive side of things and makes life a whole lot better.

The Indian woman is figurative yet fiery……..playful and serious all at once…they are bindaas

The Indian woman is a breath of fresh air, hard working, talented and passionate about her dreams.

That one smile, the playful eyes, shy expression, confident touch, humility and steely yet demure character can only and only be present in an Indian woman….

Cheers to the Indian woman…. Life is dull without them, life cannot go on without them…they are the inspiration, they are the gems….they are different from the rest…because they are found ….only and only in INDIA :)

GOODBYE....JUMBO, THE SUPERMAN : ANIL KUMBLE

I feel very sad today, as every other true Indian cricket lover will be….. The JUMBO of Indian cricket has decided to call it a day. I got a real shock when the giant screen proclaimed that Anil Kumble had decided to hang up his boots. I was expecting his retirement decision to come after the series but certainly not on the last day of the Kotla test.

His relentless commitment and on field aggression have been thoroughly talked about and discussed by people worthier than me and by people who have shared the dressing room with him. I remember Anil Kumble as a perfect gentleman, the cricketer with a big heart and steely resolve. I met Anil Kumble in Lucknow when India was playing England at the KD Singh Babu stadium way back in 1994 - 1995 and Mohd Azharuddin was the Indian captain. He made me sit on his lap and signed my cap for me….that is how I remember Anil Kumble…the man with a golden heart…he had offered me some sugar coated chewable candy as well and I remember divesting him of his entire strip of candy. My dad still reminds me of the details :)

The determination with which he took the field with a broken jaw against the West Indies and got Brian Lara out lbw is a part of cricketing folklore. His 10 wickets against Pakistan at the Kotla is a ballad sung by cricket lovers even to this day. He has been a wonderful statesman of the Indian cricket team.

It has been rightly said that the BCCI should award Anil Kumble a lifetime pension for the services he has rendered. The hundred which he got at the Oval and the manner in which he celebrated shows the passion with which he played the game. Shane Warne and Muralidaran may have more wickets but they do not have a test century to their credit, do they ??? :)

A golden hearted man in real life as well, Anil has made himself available for several social causes.

A truly gifted individual with determination that can move mountains, it is shameful that towards the end of his career, critics took hearty digs at him now that their sitting duck Sourav Ganguly was gone. All of us should take our hats off to the wonderful cricketer, brilliant spinner and marvel that Anil Kumble is….He is truly one of the greatest of all time. I salute him and wish him all the best for his future. Godbless you Anil…..

“When you look at India as a team, their record at home probably compares to Australia's as best in the terms of win record. But our performance outside gets highlighted only because the difference between our show at home and abroad is too much.” : ANIL KUMBLE

"Anil Kumble has been a great servant of Indian Cricket and I use the word servant carefully because he has never tried to be the master. " : HARSHA BHOGLE

Ego Boosting :D :D

Well, just to add to my earlier post, the people at dream Job suggested that I should look more presentable so I underwent a makeover.................























DO not be alarmed, it is just some ego pampering, we all want to look good, dont we ???????????????? :) CIAO

MEMORIES>>>>COMIN THICK AND FAST....

Well, thats a weird me, hosting Sportscenter on ESPN [ I am looking very weird, has shaving rashes :( ]

With the fabulous, Team 18



With Ravi Shastri again


Sleepy, at 3 am still shooting..... :)


With the dazzling Ravi Shastri :) Man...he is tall :)




Last from the right, with Gautam Bimani (centre)..You ll know him if
you watch cricket :)


That's me 2nd from the left, 2nd row


Well Memories are just flooding me today, I was a part of ESPN STAR's CLINIC ALL CLEAR DREAM JOB on Star Cricket and being a part of a reality show (which very few people watched) I can safely say that I was genuinely surprised to see the warmth amongst the 18 of us......

Jatin, Lara, Medini, Vinayak, Akshobh, Sachith, Isaac, Faisal, Siddharth, Pooja, Arvind, Shirin, Hemant, Kartik, Siddharth Raman, Nishant and Emaad....You guys were fabulous.... you really were... Thank you for a wonderful time....I will never forget all of you and I will never forget those two weeks, I made it to the top five but then the experience was mind blowing...

Sigh....Memories are made of some dreamy things, I lived one of my dreams during those two weeks ..... CIAO

MEMORIES :)

This was my first work to be published in print :) HMMMM or maybe my second....I dont exactly remember, but what I do remember is that it gave me a lot of joy and pride. (It also made me richer by 2000 bucks, but then the money did n0t matter that much, it was the icing on my small cake )....Gosh ! sometimes I just have to look back and I have a treasure trove of memories to choose from :) CIAO (PS Click on the pictures to enlarge it for reading purposes )

HURRAH !!

Hurrah ! At last, part of my dream has come true. I have finished with the written manuscript for my dream project. "NONE : THE CHOSEN ONE" is very close to my heart and if god willingly it is published ( if I am lucky that is :) ) then I fancy the cover page to closely resemble this....(its horrible I know ....but still :) it is close to my dream cover) I will pre release a quotation from my book (self righteous brat that I am ) "The human brain is a receptive medium for sarcastic encouragement "

If you read the quotation carefully and read in between the lines , you will probably grasp the plot of the book.......

I will say no more :) and I shall keep my fingers crossed. I shall uncross them after August 2009 :).


My heart bleeds for the people of Assam. How horrible and my deepest sympathies are with the affected families.



Many congratulations to Vishwanathan Anand for doing us proud again :)

CIAO

What do you do when your aunty and your uncle pass away in a space of two days??? Nothing much...I am shocked and numb...cannot explain much...God Bless their souls...My bitterness has made me see some very horrible sights...I regret my mistakes...Will get back soon. My condolences to my cousins and my dad because he has lost his sister. May their souls rest in peace.

Once in a thousand years, there comes a person, who rises above the heads of ordinary men and stands up for what is right. Once in a thousand years, there comes a person, capable of taking decisions which other people fear to take. Once in a thousand years, there comes a person, who becomes an entity, a symbol of hope for the downtrodden. The world is breeding corpulent corruption and hatred and it needs someone to take a stand. Once in a thousand years, there comes a person who risks it all for the greater good. Once in a thousand years, there comes a person, who sacrifices without fear. My time has come….

SEX AND THE INDIAN CITY

When we talk about sex nowadays, we do not disappear behind our friend’s back or flip the burkha back over our faces. Sex in India today, is discussed with a lot of fervor, spice and openness. The degree to which the openness (regarding discussions on the topic of sex) has reached in the Indian metros especially Mumbai and Delhi, is alarming to see. Heck!!! Its progress :)

The one thing which irks me no end , is the manner and unsubtle way in which these topics are discussed and treated. I am no moral guardian but I firmly believe that topics like these should be discussed in a subtle manner. To give you an example and prove my point, I would like to recount an incident which took place whilst I was seated with some of my friends at Karims (A delicious Kabab joint in Delhi). A group of guys were seated in the table opposite to ours. Now at this point, in walked a beautiful girl with a nerdy boyfriend. Immediately the group of guys started off …“Hot a** man !!”,”Want her in b** with me”,” Awesome t*** man!!”. The poor girl looked at her boyfriend for support who turned blue with fear and whisked her out of the joint. Frankly…I knew that Delhi was a loud place…but then I never knew that it was this loud….

I was hanging out with one of my friends and his girlfriend ( a big mistake) when they started off on this highly embarrassing conversation. Let us name my friend A and his girlfriend B…

A: Yeah, I don’t think that I can f*** anyone after B.

B: My friends have experimented a lot, every other night , they f*** a different guy.

A: Yeah but they don’t do it like us Babe (smiling)

B: Shut up, I have a sore back from the last time.

A: But you have to admit, the first time was fun….

B: Yeah, sweet but some pain as well..

Me: Ahem….cough !!! cough !!!

B: Have you f**** anyone ??? (directed at me)

Me: (turning blood red)…Ahem…no no….

B: Whaaaat???...You mean to say you haven’t experimented???

Me: (turning violet)….Er…no no….

A: F*** man!!! You have missed out on a lot…Why don’t you catch somebody from college and sc** her (laughs)

Me: Would stop with all these f**** already???

A: ha ha ……….

B: Tell me when you are ready…I have some nice friends….

Me: (grimly) are you running a prostitute centre???

B: (nervously)…Er….no no…..

Me: Lets finish the conversation then…

Phew….I was happy to get out that place with my life, brain and virginity intact…..

I am not against sexual topics and body contours :) being discussed because people cannot be stopped :)…but all I would like to see is some subtlety…When you are discussing it with your friends, keep your voice frequency tuned down so that it is audible only to your group members. When you are commenting on body contours ( you should not be doing so in the first place but anyway ….), please say it in your mind or whisper it under your breath…because when it is loud, it is nothing better than eve teasing and harassment…it could get you into trouble as well if the boyfriend is built like Sylvester Stallone.

Now the moral guardian…thinks that is time….to sign off :) CIAO and A VERY HAPPY DIWALI TO ONE AND ALL….Best wishes and lots of luck :)