Why cant I just forget her ?? I just cannot seem to get over her :( I try hard to get away, start over afresh...but then I realize...that I just love her too much...After a fight, my mind tells me to break off contact for 5 months, my heart tells me to stop being foolish because it knows that my sabbatical will not last 5 minutes :(
I get jealous when she mentions her crush, when she goes out with other guys and has a good time... I honestly admit it... I am not possessive nor am I a dog in the manger...Since she is not mine, I do not have any reason to be jealous or feel irritated when she talks about the lovely time that she spent . Sigh ! I guess she would have to be in my shoes to feel what happens...It is like a little pin prick inside my heart .... :( I just cannot help it... It is involuntary... I know other people have more of a right to be with her and I am the least worthy among them all...but still... I hope and I hope ....
I am so in love ...the love outlasts the pain... She tells me to let go, be selfish, harbor no hopes, "try to learn", compartmentalize and not care so much for her :(
I do not want to regret and tell myself on my deathbed that I could have given her more love and care than I am presently giving her right now :) If you do not do all the above mentioned things when you meet the love of your life, then when in hell are you going to do it ??
I know that she is the one.....Sigh...It gets so hard and lonely when she is sad or behaving brusquely with me for any reason :( I love her so very much.... I always want to see her happy... I want her to know that whatever happens... I will always be there...and I want her to look inside her heart...She might listen to it and she might also come to know about the things she does which hurt me the most...foremost of them being "no hugs" *wry smile*
Sigh ! sometimes... I wish she was mine....sometimes I wish she was mine.... :(
What can i say ? I just love her so much :( and nothing can change it...She is the most beautiful person in the world for me :) I wish she knew what she means to me... I just wish.... :(
2 comments:
Just raw emotions!
You know why Keats became so famous? The guy died at the age of 25, and thats why his writings are full o raw uncultured emotions! Thats what drew people...
These emotions are very personal dear, cherish them till they are with you, you`ll miss them when they are not around. :)
Cheers. :)
@ diya : i am truly touched...thank u so so much dear...it means a lot to me :) godbless :)
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