10 ways to stop / disrupt a Marriage or 10 ways of trying to stop / disrupt one....(FOR MEN ONLY)

1. Do nothing at all . Sit on your couch, sweating, your eyes sifting from side to side, your hands clasped, muttering and cursing under your breath.

2. Borrow a friend's motorbike and unscrew your ass from the living room couch. Zoom over to the marriage location and lose your nerve. Turn around and race back to your house.

3. Eat your best friend's brain and chatter incessantly about how miserable your life is without her or him :)

4. Eat vada pav and do not be tensed or worried. Then snore soundly for 48 hours. Sleep through the wedding and then wake up the day later. Reach the venue and smash the remains of the ceremony in anger only to discover that you are a day late.

5. Barge into the ceremony and create a scene. Shout and swear loudly and conk the priest on the head with the ceremonial coconut. Then dance around the holy fire like a wild savage and kick about at unknown people (Note: It is advisable to down two bottles of scotch before this act)

6.Disguise yourself as the priest and mutter crappy shlokas. After the pheras, stand up and announce that the marriage is not valid as you never recited the proper mantras and then grasping the girl/boy's hand tightly, flee from the spot.

7. Bomb the f**king place....................................with tomatoes, rotten eggs, decaying cowdung and solidified elephant dung :)

8. Chloroform the girl's/boy's fiancee and hang him upside down inside a secluded room. Whip his a*s badly and set him free with swollen bu****ks. (Note: This step is avoidable and may potentially land you behind bars for a few days)

9. Bribe the caterers to mix 5 kilotons of jamalghota in the marriage party's food. Sit back and enjoy the result....it is going to be loose :) and in motion :)

10. THE GRANDEST AND THE MOST IMPRESSIVE PLAN OF ALL : Book an elephant, preferably one with loose motion problems (Feed it some loose motion inducing food to be absolutely sure). Hire a drunken dancer. Instruct the dancer to dance in front of the elephant and attach a clump of sugarcane to his a*s. The Elephant will run after the dancer (spraying dung all over the place mind you) and trample the entire set up in a matter of minutes. Stand inside a safe house and enjoy your handiwork.This plan may be altered a bit. You can sit atop the elephant reach into the pandal and instruct the elephant to smash the priest aside and lift the girl/boy and twirl him/her about in it's trunk. Then flee the place like a frog on uppers.



These points were put down after interviewing a sample class of 9 people. The last and the least practical point...............i claim to be mine :) CIAO