Sunday, November 9, 2008

REASONS WHY... I CANNOT BE...JAMES BOND... AT LEAST FOR NOW :)


1. I do not possess blue swimming trunks.

2. I do not have an Aston Martin DB with a cardiac revival system.


3. I have never been inside Queen Victoria's personal bedroom :) or bathroom :) [ I heard she had a crush on Bond].

4. I am bad at poker, I stink at fencing and I cannot stay under cover without going to the toilet for 15 minutes under pressure.

5. I like my orange juice stirred and not shaken.

6. I have no clue about keeping my shoes shiny even after chasing a fugitive through a dirty street and kicking the daylights out of him.

7. I am A ONE WOMAN MAN :) Sorry Bond, it looks good on you, but brother a piece of advice, either get a girlfriend or get married.

8. I cannot get my balls crushed with a steel ball and return to kicking butt within a week a la Casino Royale.

9. I cannot shoot a woman with a BAZOOKA for god's sake....give the woman a chance atleast :)

10. I am very poor at kissing unknown woman 5 minutes after meeting them.

11. For all those long missions does he have time to change underwear ?? Bond!! you unhygienic freak !!!

12. I have more hair than Daniel Craig :) Brosnan was perfect though :)

13. I cannot keep up with M's sarcastic comments knowing that that the old hag has a crush on me :)

14. I cannot kiss underwater for nuts :) Lotsa kissing is a perk though :) for Bond not for me :)

15. He is British :)


One common thing bonds us though,
Both of us are hot :) sizzling hot :) Am I kidding?? Well you decide :) CIAO

5 comments:

Antriksh Satyarthi said...

hillarious mate..you just gave me something to think about

"why can't i be jasoun bourne"

although as a tribute to ya am gonna try writing it in your specially crafted style yet the name on the best selling list gonna be mine.

some perks of artistic freedom i guess..just mere technicalities mate..i know you'll sleep soundly remembering the most over used and over rated lines of william shakesphere (sounds better dont you think??)" what is in the name" or something to that effect[:P]

Unknown said...

@antrikish : two words for you mate "LIghten up" and do not go looking for things that make sense, getting free laughs is good dont you think ??
and once in a while we need to write nonsensical stuff to clear our crammed minds, not everybody is a creative genius u knoo :) cheers and laugh

Antriksh Satyarthi said...

just for the record my maa and my gf have been buggering me to lighten up...my 94kgs don't suit my 6'2 frame according to them..but the foody in me refuses to listen...

ohh and yeah as for creativity bro...
You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
the mood of "Last-minute panic".
what do ya think mate??[:p]

Unknown said...

@antrikish : Well, I will give this to you....you do have a way with words :) well anything you write is creative because you think up all the words the sentences and the topic :) (unless you are ripping someone off :) ) Creativity comes to me when I am lazy and sometimes things should not make sense at all...things bordering on the nonsensical and frivolous are best suited to kick the human brain into action. I write some ordinary stuff just to keep my brain churning...and most of time I am rewarded creatively for this moronic droning :)

As for the weight issues, I am 6 feet tall and am a miserly 64 kgs, so you can understand why I try to tell people to lighten up :) Cheers mate :)

Antriksh Satyarthi said...

praingi just thought you should know..
that joker post was inspired by your 'lighten up'..

cheers mate..[:D]