MY BIGGEST MISTAKE

I am at this very moment standing at a very crucial juncture…The steps I take from now on will probably shape my career…………

I still wonder…if engineering is the right stream for me…I still wonder and then I shrug off my contemplation mode…All the” What ifs??”are of no use now….

I remember that night very clearly….Dad was reclining on the couch….The UPTU results had just come in and he was frowning and surveying me from head to toe….”Tell me something …”he asked” Do you frankly want to pursue engineering? Mass communication will be a good option for you…don’t be afraid…don’t hesitate…tell me very truthfully…”. I still remember arguing my case vehemently….stating very passionately that I wanted to become an engineer.

The most severe mistakes are committed in the heat of passion and in hindsight I probably made my biggest mistake there…. In foresight I would still say that I made the right decision….because I feel that I can secure a reasonably good job in a good company for a couple of years….but I sometimes feel as if I murdered my ambitions on that very night in cold blood…………

How I long for those memorable lines of Shakespeare and those immortal odes of Keats!!! How I miss writing essays and filling in prepositions!!! How I miss getting regular chances to express myself on a public forum!!! Now I am nothing more than a cold blooded reptile buried in critical calculations, precise and cold figures and dull figures. Sometimes my passion bursts forth….that is the reason why I blog, why I look for opportunities to express myself…..It’s not because I have free time in abundance….it is my way of penance….I nurse my heart hoping that it will forgive me for taking away the things that it desired the most…..Most people will say that I am an egoistic fool and I have nothing better to say….But the truth is that this feeling is immune to rebukes and opinions….

I feel my creativity super cedes my analytical abilities…..but the bare truth is that my creativity lost out simply because a boy’s ego and his desire to become a money earning machine killed his freedom to dream…………………..and this is a true confession