Thursday, May 17, 2012

DRUNK ON "VOD" KA NET :-)



Disclaimer : This post is a work based on true facts (You'd better trust me !!! ). Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of my imagination or creativity or have been used blandly (because I am a lazy bum !! ). Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely intentional and maybe the result of me bribing you, to use your ideas for this post. 









If Mark Anthony would have been present during the mobile-internet era, I am sure he would have hollered out "Facebook !!! Real Time Chatting !!! and Countless Apps !! Lend me your ears !!! " instead of his regular "Friends, Romans and Countrymen" eulogy...


I remember the good old days when I used to be a part of my college debating team. The most common norm when a speaker used to introduce his / her speech, was to pick up an important phrase or word that was a part of the topic and then define it according to the Oxford / Webster dictionary... (which then was followed by boos from the crowd along with popcorn being tossed into the air as a mark of protest against the lame start)


Since there is no chance of me being booed or swamped with popcorn, I ll adopt this methodology and define "FUN" according to some sources that I found convincing....


I ll hit you with two quotations :


"Fun is the enjoyment of pleasure" [Kinda kinky :-) ]


"Fun is an absolutely primary category of life, familiar to everybody at a glance right down to the animal level." : Johan Huizinga 


If I take these two quotations apply it to the fascinating world of Mobile Internet,then I can instantly divide the entire landscape into four parts....


1. Its fun when your favourite things are affordable and cheap (For eg...My mom hosted a dinner party to celebrate the fact that she had purchased Onions from a grocer, for an amount , 5 Rupees cheaper than the one who usually supplies it to her)


2. Its fun when something is portable and accessible on the go (For eg...It is rumoured that one of my friends went throughout the IPL IV season without taking a bath or moving out of the house because he believed that his beloved team [Mumbai Indians] would perform badly if he abandoned the TV screen....later he switched to 3G and never abandoned his Mobile screen)


3. Its fun when a digital device can convey emotions (For eg..







One of my other friends had this weird ritual of kissing his mobile cause he believed that the kissing the kissie emoticon [sent by his girlfriend over Whatsapp] was the best way of believing that he was kissing her goodnight..
)

4. Its fun when you can virtually be at places where you physically cannot be present and when you can brag about your sense of direction to women (For eg.. My cousins chat with each other using Apple's Facetime, wearing their boxers because it temporarily creates an illusion, wherein they believe that that they are in the same room and not thousands of miles apart)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, let me...with much aplomb ,akin to Shekhar Suman introducing his ummmm somewhat "wonderful" show nowadays) tell you why Vodafone manages to emulate Yuvraj Singh and tonk a full monty of sixes in the Mobile Internet sphere with respect to the above enlisted points....

  • When was the last time that you downloaded songs legally and that too, for Re 1??? It is as great as watching a movie with Scarlet Johansson in it only to find out that Megan Fox plays the baddie... When was the last time you downloaded wallpapers (like the one I have posted below :-) ) and Videos for Re 1? As far as I know...not before now.. Downloading music and videos whenever and wherever you want to at affordable rates (remember...my mom and the onions :-) ) and blocking your parent's scoldings out (at the cost of being rude), adds pizazz to your hand-held device... I LOVE downloading my apps from the Vodafone VStore because I get to pay for them in Indian Rupees :-) The convenience is much appreciated by lazy customers like me :-) 

  • I still remember the day when I spilt coffee on my boss's lap...knocked over his "USB" fan and then socked my colleague where it hurts :-) No..it was not a "I am fed up with my work" rebellion...It was my reaction when Manchester United drew 3-3 with Chelsea after being 0-3 down...and I was catching all the action live on my iPhone in my boss's cabin...I have had serious FUN posting stuff on-line on my Facebook community wherein I have daily altercations with my friends who support other clubs....We fight, slaughter, abuse and quarrel like a bunch of rowdy dogs until we all have a good laugh at the end of it... I have danced with my colleague (wearing a pink lungi) when we watched Chennai Super Kings win an IPL match after hitting a six off the last ball...only to be scolded by a grandpa  in a pair of pink"er" boxers, who told us off for screaming too loudly. Streaming is smooth and un-interrupted on Vodafone 3G...which is another reason to dance happily :-) 






  • I had the most AMAZING time during my trip to Goa !!! Our hotel was horrible, I lost my sun-glasses in the sea (which was then miraculously retrieved by my friend as the tide plonked it into his arms while he was swimming), we visited the most shady nightclub and missed our return train only to come back in a luggage train...but every moment was filled with laughter and some great company :-) These moments were captured by me using my iPhone and edited using the iMovie app....the video now resides on Youtube (where it was uploaded after numerous requests) and is the source of wonderful memories (like Dhoni tonking the World Cup winning 6 and Rooney scoring the wondrous overhead goal against Manchester City)...Uploading was nice n smooth over Vodafone's 3G network :-) 









  • I have been rescued several times over when I am touring proper Mumbai ( I have as much knowledge about the streets as Ronaldo has about cricket) because of my Sat-nav and Google Maps App.  At times when I am hopelessly lost and cannot figure out the way, I always have a friend I can turn to....  I do not have to address random strangers as "bhaiya" [in Mumbai it is considered offensive] and be encountered with glares, or disgusted looks by people who take an objection to being called "uncle" (cause they are young at heart) when I ask them for directions... It is fun imagining yourself to be the sprightly arrow on the map as you squirm around and try to reach your objective...the big pin...its similar to solving a puzzle...

  • It is fun to witness the blurring of physical boundaries when I call my friends over Skype and talk as if President Obama is going to pay our phone bills (which he would be happy to, considering Vodafone's economical Internet packs) .... Its brilliant to see my baby niece coo and gurgle and unknowingly aim a jet-stream of pee right at the phone-camera :-)

What do I derive from Vodafone's slogan "Power to you? "...

I think that it helps you beat the rat race in many ways and be a smarter worker...It helps you to converge a world of possibilities, avenues and intricate threads into your pocket / the palm of your hand / under your pillow (while sleeping :-) ) In short it helps you to embrace F-U-N...

So you dont have to do this anymore :-)







Let me re-frame William Blake's masterpiece "Tiger" for you, as an ode to Mobile Internet (my apologies to you Sir William, but a Macbook is at stake here !!!) 

Mobile Internet...burning bright...
On our mobile screens..both day and night...
What addictive app or song
Could frame thy fun-filled symmetry...

In what distant land or skies
Burnt the fun-filled bonfire of thine?
Using Whatsapp did we aspire..
To beat BBM did we desire...

And what Angry Birds..And what Temple Run...
Could make time pass with loads of fun...
And when thine Maps began to greet..
Blessed were the lost visitors with cars or on feet..

When the world...updated their statuses...
And tweeted to one another from all the cracks and crevices..
Did you smile, your work to see..
Did he who made the "Fart Sound" app, make thee?

Mobile Internet...burning bright...
On our mobile screens..both day and night...
What addictive app or song
Could frame thy fun-filled symmetry...


To round it off, let me pay heed to my dear friend who has been religiously poking me with a thumb tack from behind and asking me to present proof that this post was written using my Mobile phone...

There you go ...

  
If you are from the 18th century and have arrived here in a time-machine, or if you wish to know why Internet on Vodafone is fun (in-case you did not read the above mentioned points I have been screaming myself hoarse about) ...please/kindly do visit www.vodafone.in/fun

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Images :

"Internet is fun on Vodafone" - Courtsey : Vodafone

This post has been submitted as a part of the "Internet is fun" contest on Indiblogger.


No comments:

There was an error in this gadget