Sunday, August 31, 2008

THE PRINCE....MY DADA AND HIS DADAGIRI......


He was Indian Cricket's biggest revelation...... No...I am not talking about Sachin Tendulkar or MS Dhoni..... He is the Prince of Kolkata.....the King of Behala.....He is my Dada, my idol and inspiration...Sourav Ganguly...

MS Dhoni became only the second Indian Cricketer to be awarded the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna...I feel happy for the guy...but somewhere down the line I am stung by the injustice of it all. How could India's most successful test captain ever, the man who led India to the 2003 World Cup finals and the man who started the trend of bearding the Australians in their own den ....not be given the Khel Ratna??

The only answer which comes to my mind is dirty politics or biased politics.




Dada..after winning the Natwest series final at Lords


I am still branded with the legendary and immortal image of Dada ...twirling his shirt, bare chested after India had won the Natwest Series against England at the Mecca of Cricket - Lords
...He was shouting and screaming and hurling one "fuck off" after another and rightly so...because the English team was fucked off and Andrew Flintoff had disappeared from the scene....



Dada in full flight during his knock of 183

His innings at Taunton where he decimated a full strength Sri Lankan attack with his mammoth 183 still holds a special place in my heart....he helped India reach a huge score of 373 and squashed the mighty Lankans...




Dada acknowledges the crowd at Brisbane



His innings of 143 against Australia in the first test at Brisbane...spurred India on to achieve a miraculous retention of the Border Gavaskar trophy and blew away the myth that the Australians were invincible on home soil.......

Dada during the epic test match


Dada's insistence of including a rookie spinner Harbhajan Singh in the epic Test Match against Australia at Kolkata ,helped India create history..... Agreed that it was the Laxman,Dravid and Harbhajan show...but Dada's captaincy and a brave decision to declare ,completed the superb victory....


His first two hundreds....on debut at Lords and Trent Bridge against England took the world by storm and the haughty prince who refused to carry drinks out onto the pitch ( Because he was the 12th man) became the God of the offside...taking over the reins from David Gower...

He has been Indian Cricket's bad boy as well and has been involved in numerous altercations with the on field umpires and match referees....but then who doesn't love a bad boy :)


Dada after scoring his double hundred


I was infinitely happy when my Dada scored the first double century of his career against Pakistan and the relief on his face was evident.....I am very touchy about my Dada and I cannot take criticism aimed at him....Being a Bengali myself may have something to do with it...but he is my inspiration...


Dada with Greg Chappell

I still remember the period when Dada was ousted from the team following a face off with Greg Chappell which went on to become one of the most scandalous chapters in the history of Indian Cricket.....He showed tremendous resilience, courage and determination and fought his way back into the team...only to find himself being ill treated by his team mates..The glum and morose look on his face killed my heart..... but he roared and silenced his critics once again....He is a lion..my Dada...he never gives up....


And...........he is the only cricketer to have danced with Hrithik Roshan (Dancing God) in a Hero Honda Ad.....He is a dasher....my Dada he really is..............



Dada with SRK at the Knight Rider's promotional event


How can a man who has given so much to Indian Cricket not be awarded with India's highest sporting honour??......Give it a thought....And Dada...please guide the Knight Riders to a sensational IPL Cup victory....it will be another golden feather in your diamond cap.....Three cheers.....

The details below are furnished thanks to Gaurav Tomar....



AWARDS TO SOURAV GANGULY
  • Sportstar Person of the Year - 1998 Awarded by the Sportstar Magazine
  • Arjuna Award -1998 For outstanding performance in cricket
  • CEAT Cricketer of the Year 99-00 , Cash prize of 5 lakh rupees and a trophy
  • CEAT Indian Captain of the Year 01-02 For outstanding achievement as leader
  • Award for Cricketing Excellence 2003 Presented to men who made "the difference"
  • Padma Shri 2004 4th highest civilian award in India
  • Rammohan Roy Award 2004 For outstanding performance as captain

SOURAV IN WISDEN
  • Sourav has 4 of his innings in top 100 ODI innings declared by Wisden Cricket and 3 in top 25.
     21)Ganguly S C 141* Ind vs SA, 2000, Nairobi.
        24)Ganguly S C 141 Ind vs Pak, 2000, Adelaide Oval.
        25)Ganguly S C 183 Ind vs SL, 1999, County Ground.
        71)Ganguly S C 153* Ind vs NZ, 1999, Captain Roop 
Singh Stadium.
  • Sourav has 3 of his innings in Top 5 ODI innings played by Indian batsman as declared by Wisden Cricket.
2) Ganguly S.C 141* 196.71 India Vs South Africa
2000, Nairobi Gymkhana Club Ground


4) Ganguly S.C 141 194.35 India Vs Pakistan,
2000, Adelaide Oval
5) Ganguly S.C 183 194.07 India Vs Sri Lanka,
1999, County Ground, Taunton.
SOURAV IN ODIs
· Second fastest player to reach 10,000 ODI runs.· Fastest to reach
multiples of 7,000,
8,000, 9,000 ODI Runs.
· Second Fastest after
Viv Richards to reach
6,000 ODI Runs in 147
Innings and Sachin
Tendulkar to 10,000 in
263 Innings.

Sourav Ganguly... reaching the 10,000-run mark.
· In the Sahara Cup 1997, Saurav Ganguly set a World Record for 4 consecutive Man of the Match Awards and later he was declared as the Man of The series also.
· Sourav is the highest run scorer
in the world in the
calendar year of
1997 - with 1338 runs1999 - with 1767 runs2000 - with 1579 runsin 1998, he was the 2nd highest
total run scorer in the
world after Sachin Tendulakr.
Sachin scored 1894 runs while sourav scored 1328
runs.
Which means he ruled the world cricket in batting
for 4 years.He scored 1114 runs in year 2002 also.
· Holds the record, shared withMahendra Singh Dhoni,
for the second highest score by an Indian cricketer
in an ODI — 183, against Sri Lanka in 1999.
· Held the record, shared with Sachin Tendulkar, for
the highest first wicket partnership for India in a
ODI match, 258, against Kenya in 2001. This record
was bettered by Sri Lankan opening pair of Jayasuriya
and Tharanga in 2006 at Headingly.
· Was involved in the first 300 run ODI partnership
with Rahul Dravid.
· Sourav with Sachin tops the list of Highest overall
partnership runs by openers with 5799 runs(17
hundred runs partnership which too is a record).
· Sourav with Sachin tops the list of Highest overall
partnership runs by a pair playing at any position
with total 7417 runs(22 hundred runs partnership
which too is a record) till date and while his
partnershipship with Rahul Dravid is on the 5th spot
in this list with a total of
4245 runs.· Sixth on the all time list with 30 man of the match
awards.
· First Indian to score an ODI century against
Australia in Australia.(who says he is afraid
of fast tracks ?? :P)
· Sourav is among those 9 cricketers of the world who
scored a century
and took
4 wickets in the same match.
He first scored 130* and l
ater took 4/21 against SL
in 1999 at Nagpur.
· Sourav is among those 12
cricketers of the world
who scored a half century
and took 5 wickets in the
same match. He scored 71*
and took 5/34 against Zim
in 2000 at Kanpur.
· Sourav Ganguly in ICC World Cup 2002/03
scored a total of 465 runs and this performance is on
5th spot in the list of Most runs in an series by a
captain with unfornately Greg Chappell topping the
list :D
· In Feb 2005: Climbed to the number 3 spot in the list
of most sixes hit by a batsman in ODI with 168 sixes
in 247 matches.



SOURAV IN WORLD CUP



· Sourav jointly(with Mark Waugh, Sachin Tendulkar and
Ricky Ponting) holds the record of scoring maximum
number of centuries (4) in world cup.
· Sourav holds the record of scoring maximum number of
centuries in a single WC (3 centuries in WC-03) jointly
with Mark Waugh and Mathew Hayden.
· Sourav holds the record of scoring most runs through
boundaries in an innings in any World Cup match.
He scored 110 runs by boundaries in his mammoth 183
score against SL in taunton in WC-99.
· Sourav’s 183 is the second highest score in an inning
by any cricketer with Kirsten topping the list with 188*.
· Sourav with Dravid holds the record of heighest
partnership of 318 runs in WC while the 2nd spont in
the list too goes to Sourav with Sachin who scored 244
runs together against Namibia in WC-03.

SOURAV IN TESTS
· One of 3 batsman who made tons in their 1st two Test innings.· Sourav was only the 3rd batsman
in the world to score a century
on debut at Lords.
· His 131 still remains the
highest by any batsman on his
debut at Lord’s.
· In May 2004: Joined the top
20 list of players whohit the
most sixes in Test cricket,
with 41 sixes.



SOURAV AS CAPTAIN


· Captained India in a record 49 Test matches.· Led India to a record 21 Test
wins.
· India's most successful Test
captain.
· India's most successful ODI
captain.
· In the 2nd Test vs. Australia
at Kolkata in the
Border-Gavaskar Trophy,
Sourav became only
the 3rd captain in Cricket history to lead a team
to victory after following on. India went on to
win the series 2-1.
· In Mar - Apr 2004: Became the first Indian captain
to win an ODI and Test series in Pakistan
.· In April 2005: Became only the 3rd cricketer and 2nd
Indian after Mohammed Azharuddin to make 5000 ODI runs
as skipper in the Pepsi Cup vs. Pakistan.

Sick and Tired


A bright Sunday morning has dispelled the dark clouds which had saturated my mind over the past week.... and I am finally having my morning cup of coffee..... But I am still raw and in no mood to blog in my normal jacked up style.......So I will be bland and just state my case....

Ok....so I attended the Rock On event down at Andheri....It was pretty good but I was in a real foul mood after being kicked about in the local trains....I was nursing a sore arm and a swollen index finger and to top it all I was bleeding from the nose in the train.....I had a torrid time at the Chembur station trying to clean up my gushing nose....

The event was being hosted by Mandira and Luke Kenny was calling the shots...I said my lines and disappeared after having a couple of sandwiches because I was in no mood to "jive".....

My brother's exams start from Monday and I am the commander in chief.....Brother...be prepared for some hard work outs....

College is stinking right now since my results were abysmal and that is the least i can say..........

And if you get the time.....listen to I am Sick by Saliva

and give "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khalid Hoseini a read......

Back to hard studies on Monday..I am truly and sincerely fucked up.......and my T Shirt just sums it up....Millennium Fuck... :) have a good week... Ciao....

Saturday, August 30, 2008

DO YOU DARE READ IT ??

This blog is for the sole purpose of venting my pent up frustrations........no apologies in order....




This is my blog..so I get to abuse..freely :) and I do not care who reads it..............

It's the fucked up tension..............which is playing with my goddamn fucked up life................

I am taking shitty crap and bullshit and now I am full to the brim............

All the people who think they can control and steer me....screw you....go and find something else to fuck....do not mess up my life....

I know some people will be shocked at my usage of words but then...shove your fucked up opinions up your ass and do not pass miserable judgments....

This is VIRTUAL HEMLOCK...it's poison...and I am spewing some right now.......

For all those who back stab me......screw you bastards and may God have mercy upon your souls..............

Am sick of all this hogwash...may not blog for a day or two...but then who cares.........

The next time...I will be decent....

and if I am not............fuck off :)

Friday, August 29, 2008

SHE WALKED IN THROUGH THE DOORWAY


This poem by me is dedicated to someone........very special...If you are reading it.....I mean every word of it...






I lay awake ….lying listlessly on my bed; my hands touched the cold marble floor….

The candle burned lower and lower and the room sank slowly into darkness……

My heart was slowing down…….and my limbs were shivering to the core…

My eyes were fixed on the door waiting for it to open and usher in my princess…




Would she ever come??…I was at death’s door…my life was evaporating fast,

Would I live to see another morning?? My brain refused to let me cling on to hope…

“Give up your hope” it said…how could I?? I knew she would come and help me last…

The moon cast it’s rays upon my shriveled body trying to console me and help me cope…




When my heart was at it’s last beat and my eyes had begun to close for good,

I heard a tiny little creak and instantly all my senses unaccountably froze….

The dying candlelight cast it’s halo on a lovely face with beautiful curls....there she stood,

Her graceful poise and feminine aura enveloped me like an adrenalin dose…..




She walked into the room softly…the candlelight grew brighter with her every step….

Her ethereal smile shocked my heart into a steady beat and my arms unaccountably rose..

I trembled and shivered before I took her lovely hand in mine and slowly wept,

Her hands and touch reassured me;I felt her love and my emotions burst through the hose.




She had dragged me out from the abyss of death and played me like a lovely harp,

Her hug felt warm and so good to be in…it was like heaven on earth...it was divine…

She is my protector….my angel……without her presence…I am a thrashing carp…..

Everyday I wait for her to walk in through the doorway and I wait for the candle to shine.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

MY PENANCE


Forgive me my heart, forgive me my soul,

The bread and butter you yearned for so dearly,

Has vanished into a dark black hole,

The pain haunts me and I cannot see clearly.



My name means “fearless” but I am trembling with fear,

Dark thoughts invade my mind and I am torn with despair,

My life feels as if it is a can of rotten and stale beer,

My true love has taken a hammering beyond repair.



I sleep and I am wide awake with shame,

I eat and my morsel tastes stale,

I dream but my dreams appear lame,

I laugh and I cry as if I have run into a gale.



I will try to bring back all that you have lost,

I will try to make you proud of the body you possess,

I will try to make your pain a long forgotten ghost,

This is my penance, Oh time!! Bury me in your recess

MY BIGGEST MISTAKE


I am at this very moment standing at a very crucial juncture…The steps I take from now on will probably shape my career…………

I still wonder…if engineering is the right stream for me…I still wonder and then I shrug off my contemplation mode…All the” What ifs??”are of no use now….

I remember that night very clearly….Dad was reclining on the couch….The UPTU results had just come in and he was frowning and surveying me from head to toe….”Tell me something …”he asked” Do you frankly want to pursue engineering? Mass communication will be a good option for you…don’t be afraid…don’t hesitate…tell me very truthfully…”. I still remember arguing my case vehemently….stating very passionately that I wanted to become an engineer.

The most severe mistakes are committed in the heat of passion and in hindsight I probably made my biggest mistake there…. In foresight I would still say that I made the right decision….because I feel that I can secure a reasonably good job in a good company for a couple of years….but I sometimes feel as if I murdered my ambitions on that very night in cold blood…………

How I long for those memorable lines of Shakespeare and those immortal odes of Keats!!! How I miss writing essays and filling in prepositions!!! How I miss getting regular chances to express myself on a public forum!!! Now I am nothing more than a cold blooded reptile buried in critical calculations, precise and cold figures and dull figures. Sometimes my passion bursts forth….that is the reason why I blog, why I look for opportunities to express myself…..It’s not because I have free time in abundance….it is my way of penance….I nurse my heart hoping that it will forgive me for taking away the things that it desired the most…..Most people will say that I am an egoistic fool and I have nothing better to say….But the truth is that this feeling is immune to rebukes and opinions….

I feel my creativity super cedes my analytical abilities…..but the bare truth is that my creativity lost out simply because a boy’s ego and his desire to become a money earning machine killed his freedom to dream…………………..and this is a true confession

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

COMPLAINTS AND RANTS.................


I missed my fingers rattling away on my keyboard…After a 3 day sabbatical, I pulled up my stool and cracked my knuckles only to find my keyboard …swearing and cursing…I bent down and placed my ear near it’s many keys…. “Stubborn mule….Who does he think he is anyway???” grumbled my keyboard “It’s pure murder…pounding away on my babies like a wild savage”

I ignored it’s rants and racked my brains for a new topic…when suddenly my stool shouted out “Do you ever care about us you moron?? Do I have nothing else to do but to bear the weight of your ass while you cavort about on top!!!!?”. I hurriedly pushed away my stool and dragged out a chair…..

I had barely started typing when my mom shouted “Do you know the amount your father has to pay to fulfill your electricity requirements?? Do you have nothing better to do than to type away like a mentally disabled flamingo??”.

I typed with a greater speed when out of the blue my friend called up “Do you know that I was waiting for you today?? How dare you leave college without me you torn leather gas bag!! “. I consoled him and managed to shut down my mobile within a couple of minutes………

I closed the MS OFFICE application and looked at some pictures of my angel for a while and things felt calmer and happier. I closed my eyes and dreamt about some good and happy times and when I did open my eyes….my dad was standing in front of me…..”Close down the computer and start studying in 2 minutes before I rip you from limb to limb!!” he roared….

I kicked my slippers in anger and tore a couple of pamphlets in frustration…….I tore at my hair…..and gobbled several pedas which my mom had reserved for guests……………

I looked around wildly…..trying to find an object to vent my fury on………and my eyes fell on…………… my pillows………
“You dirty vandals, you stupid ostrogoths…how dare you offend me!!” I screamed and pounced upon them. After 5 minutes of punching……I realized that my pajama string had come undone and my pillows had beaten me once again…………………

Thursday, August 21, 2008

AN AMATUER'S GUIDE TO.........


Being a proud and current member of the Indian student community… I have put forth a list of the most common Hindi abuses and their meanings in various contexts…

Webster and Oxford…if you want to include the list below in your dictionaries…100,000,00 $ as loyalty and a lifetime supply of coffee….

Girls who consider themselves pure of heart……GO AWAY !!!!

And girls who are….well the girls who are part of the modern dynamic woman force…welcome : )

Any boys below the age of 15……unscrew your asses…NOW !!!!

Boys above 15….Welcome….and get acquainted with the guy thing….

I think I have made my disclaimers….time for me to proceed…A word of caution though….if possible avoid using them….and walk away from the place where these words are being used…I am not an angel myself but I agree with Mom who quotes an old Bengali saying “Chola poth aar bola r mook…kyo ferot nite pare naa” . It means the steps you take in life and the things that you say to another person can never be taken back……

Chamar /ch-a-maar/ n a dirty friend,a lowly person ( Chamaar kahin ka..dafa ho ja yahan se)

Chutiya /ch-oo-tie-yaa/ n a friend,a foolish friend ( tu to chutiya hai) ■chutiyon,chutiyapa

Harami /h-a-raa-mie/ n bastard, Gabbar Singh’s minions, your worst enemy, the person who has slept with your wife or daughter (eg. Main is harami ka khoon pi jaaonga), Bollywood villains. ■haramion,haramzade,haramkhor

Saale /s-aa-ley/ n. a friend (eg. Kaise ho saale ??) , someone who has dropped a catch in the game of cricket (eg. saale, tujhe catch pakadna bhi nahi aata ??) , someone who has rammed into your vehicle in the middle of the road, politicians, teachers against whom a hold a grudge ■saalon,saala

Suar /s-ue-a-r/ n. a friend (eg.Suar kahin ka !!), Gabbar Singh’s minions and henchmen, a child addressed affectionately by his parents in rural areas.

These are the five minor ones….as for the big boys….I would first employ a tab asking the users below 18 years of age to scoot….only then would I proceed….till then recognize the small trout….the big fish are elusive :): )

WHY......CANT.....WE.....DELETE....IT??


Since recently my brain is deluging me with weird and totally moronic topics…I cannot help but choose one out of the several crappy ideas my brain is feeding me……….

This post is meant for those who have a portable music player or a multimedia cellular phone or those who listen to music on their laptops or PCS….

When was the last time you felt and experienced the feeling I am about to describe to you now….

You scroll down the list of songs in your portable music player and you come across that one song…..the song which has painful memories attached to it…the song you would not like to hear anymore….the song which acts as a stimulant for your motor nerves which in turn activate your thumb to press the “next song” button…..

Some of you will agree with me when I say that it happens all too often which will bring me to my next question….Why cannot we delete the song???

It’s been occupying a tiny space in the hard disk or flash memory and it has been guarding it’s existence fiercely…..you do not want to listen to it….but you cannot delete it…why??

A possible explanation …. according to me is………………. that we will miss the song once we delete it. We will subconsciously search for it in the playlist and anticipate it’s opening strains before pressing the “next” button…..

Strange are the ways of the human mind and strange is the diversity of human emotions….

A part of us is present inside the song…a dark and sorrowful part and we choose not to remove it…because in times of strife we listen to it…just to remind ourselves that there was once a period of time…tougher and darker than the one we are facing now….we spill our hearts out…we become one with the song…..we pour out our grief and cry like small children until we breach happy times and once again we groove to happy songs….the process becomes a full circle and once again….our thumb presses the “next” button……..

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

ONE DAY...I WENT SHOPPING....


I have now officially joined the list…..The list of men who shop for the gem of their lives (and no !! I am not talking about sons and daughters :) )

I visited this place near my house known as the Mini Market. Two of my female friends had advised me to give this market a try…so I obeyed them and set out on my dangerous and lonely mission. As soon as I set my foot onto the hallowed turf (For most females…this market is the Mecca of shopping) I was greeted with chaos, mayhem and chatter. In a peek I estimated that the place was crawling with about 500 females and 4 males including me… One of the guys had a face as green as a lizard as he was lugging around a particularly smelly bag of fish while his wife was sprinting like Usain Bolt from one stall to another. The other guy was being punched around by his girlfriend who according to me had sworn to empty the poor guy’s wallet. The third guy was calmly lumbering around with about 10 kilograms of vegetables while his mother was having a shouting match with the vegetable vendor.

My mission led me deeper into this den of heckling, barter and bargaining. As my two wise lady friends had already given me the location of the shop…I had no trouble in reaching it. The trouble started when I set foot inside the shop…There was not even a single male shopper!! I was on my own!! Defenseless!! I scanned my surroundings….Huge walls and an infinite number of rotating transparent cabinets……. Millions of goods, thousands of colours, hundreds of designs….my head whirled and I almost fainted…The shopkeeper sensed my weakness and rushed to my aid…”How can I help you Sir??” he asked displaying a set of rotting molars and canines… I smiled helplessly.” First time eh?? Shopping for whom?? Sister, Mom or Girlfriend??” he prodded. Damn him!! How did he know that I was a first timer…I unconsciously checked the back of my shirt for a paper sign which may have been put up by my friends proclaiming “CAUTION!! FIRST TIMER….HANDLE WITH CARE!!! “.I smiled again and asked him to show me a collection of the thing I had in mind.”Saale!! Iddhar aa !!” the shopkeeper yelled…I was temporarily lost in my own world as I struggled to decipher the word saale. Was this guy useless or was he married to the shopkeeper’s sister?? I was jerked out of my train of thoughts when the guy arrived displaying another set of brownish red teeth…I subconsciously decided that I would anonymously send a large packet of toothbrushes and toothpaste to this shop as soon as I would get a job…

The guy started displaying the wares and after half an hour of painful contemplation and thought I made my choice….I was inwardly feeling very proud…like an Olympic medalist (Congratulations!! Sushil and Vijender ) Some women shoppers elbowed me out of the way because they felt that I was blocking their view. Another gave me a killing look as I was taking too long at the counter. I paid the bill and fled………………….

As I stepped outside the shop…I understood a part of female emotions and admired their quality to select a single thing out of a stock of millions. I am nervous because I do not know whether my choices are good enough but I am proud because I went in there and I survived angry elbows, an angry cow’s tail lash and an angrier woman’s purse lash….

I also learnt that women are indeed beautiful beings and it is worth adorning them because the smile on their faces and the happiness in their eyes makes them look ethereal. Sorry Honey…I meant you and not women…:really …I swear…(you are so beautiful ) :): )

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

ABHIK AND THE 3 COCKROACHES



Now let me tell you a story …a story of bravery and valor…a story full of surprises, pain and twists….

Once upon a time…in the satellite city Vashi, there lived an egoistic, brash, naughty and selfish boy named Abhik. Abhik was a very self obsessed individual and always used to put him self first. He only cared about his toys, his food and his life.

One fine day in the dead of night Abhik paid a sneaky visit to the kitchen. The clock had struck 12 am and for a moment Abhik paused outside the kitchen half expecting Cinderella to rush out with only one crystal shoe. After waiting and ensuring that the coast was clear he crawled into the kitchen. He opened the lowest shelf and dragged out a packet of biscuits. Mopping the sweat from his brow…he crouched in the corner…tore open the packet and consumed all the biscuits like a greedy pig. After polishing off the crumbs which adorned the front of his T shirt, Abhik started to get up ….only to find him self facing the greatest horror of his life…………………

Blocking his path were three chocolate brown and icky cockroaches. Their antennae swayed in the air and they menacingly clicked their many limbs together. Abhik emitted an inward scream and leaped up in the air. Since Abhik was highly and proficiently trained in the art of FAKARATE ( read: faking Karate) , he executed a few moves and tried to squash them with a frying pan which had conveniently presented itself.

But the cockroaches were highly trained in the art of EFAKARATE (read: escaping fake karate)…they scurried away and climbed onto his large ogre like feet….He let out an outward scream and danced around like a pygmy high on scotch. His hand hit the dish rack which came down with an almighty crash…the poor cockroaches got unwittingly squashed under the avalanche of dishes….After the mayhem subsided…Abhik looked around and raised both his hands in the air….he now knew what it meant to win an Olympic gold….He punched the air and let out a whoop……………

The lights came on and the angry form of Abhik’s mother stormed into the kitchen….A few slaps were enough to vanquish the recently crowned Olympic Cockroach crusher Champion….Abhik was banished to his dirty bed where he spent the rest of his days regretting his greedy decision to eat an entire packet of biscuits.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Cinderella was smart…she probably carried the other shoe in her hand to crush icky cockroaches.

TAG....Hmmm I have tried.....


Now I will be honest with everyone…I do not have the least or the tiniest idea of what a tag is….Now when I was told by her to take this up…what I did was….take down the questions and post the answers…If there is another procedure involved…I plead ignorance….


1. What's your latest addiction?
Ans: Blogging and I keep thinking of weird post titles and end up selecting decent pictures to go along with them.

2. What are you listening to?
Ans: Aksar from the film HIJACK and All the way by Enrique.

3. How late did you stay up last night and why?
Ans: 1 am. Hummed some tunes + played my synth.

4. Who were you with last Friday night?
Ans : With Mamoni and Smoll…watchin the Olympic games

5. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
Ans: Nopes, nien’ cause I already love someone very much and share something very special.

6. When is the next time you'll see your close friends?
Ans: Probably in 2009 after I complete engineering….Sitanshu if you are reading this….Brother you promised that you would be coming over in October….

7. What were you doing this morning at 7am?
Ans: Taking a walk down the Cathedral Church road….ears plugged with music….and thinking about someone….

8. What radio station do you listen to the most?
Ans: RED FM….I love their choice of songs and their RJs are absolutely fab….

9. What was the reason you last cried?
Ans: When I offended someone and committed a horrible mistake.

10. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?
Ans: Yes and drawn out words of praise for myself…cause when they are sober, I don’t think praise is gonna come my way…But Hemant Bhai…you are a fun person to be with when you are on a high and an engaging person to be with when you are sober :)

11. What's the fifth text in your inbox say?
Ans: ----------- has confirmed you as ------- friend on FACEBOOK.

12. Where was the last coffee shop you went to?
Ans: I have never been to one….though I did have coffee with grandpa at this little Idli-Sambar joint in Bangalore a year and a half back

13. What's your outfit right now?
Ans: Denim 3 quarters and a dark green T shirt.

[No 14 and 15]

16. What were you doing at 11pm last night?
Ans: Talking about life, careers, dreams and poetry with my dad….enjoyed it thoroughly and felt proud when Dad told me that he loved a poem which I had put up as a post…Thanks Dad…you boost my ego :)

17. Who was the last person you talked to last night before bed?
Ans: A friend from college and lamented about results and how unfair the world is to us ( Pure hypocrites…the 2 of us :) )

18. Will you be driving in a year?
Ans: Dunno….if I can manage to beg, borrow or steal….or buy ( a remote possibility) a car then definitely YES !!!

19. Is there anything that you are craving right now?
Ans: Java Green and a long warm hug from ------------- :)

20. When did your last hug take place?
Ans: Yesterday…we had organized a farewell for our ECAD professor and I gave the farewell speech….Sir hugged me tight..All the best for your future Sir…We will all miss you badly..

[No 21 either.]

22. Have you ever started a sentence with "No offense, but..."?
Ans: Yeah a couple of times….mostly during debates and GDs :)

23. Do you drink tea?
Ans: Nopes…I am an out and out coffee craver….Mom…look this is something I have learnt from you :)

24. Have you ever been arrested?
Ans: Let me think….now there was this one time………………nopes…never…ha ha :)

25. Have you rode in someone else's car today?
Ans: No….. but I did about 4 weeks back when our gang had visited the multiplex for THE DARK KNIGHT.

26. Have you made a mistake this past week?
Ans: Yes……I bunked a whole day of college to be with my friends who were contemplating suicide ( not seriously…..but then when your results are horrible it is a viable option :) )

27. Who was the last person you texted?
Ans: Her…Her…Her and Her…that accounts for the previous three smses as well :)

28. Are you happy with your life right now?
Ans: Until the results are out…I am moderately satisfied with life….

29. In the past 72 hours have you been under the influence?
Ans: Yes…I was under the influence of Bryan Adams , Yanni and KK.

30. What's the connection between you and the last person you texted?
Ans: She is a blossom of beautiful tuberoses in my life’s garden.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

ANGER


Power and an infinite capacity to bear pain is what I have been blessed with….I have known fear in it’s most primeval form and I have suffered and have bore misery with all the guts inside me…I have never known joy….pure, unbridled, cascading and supreme…Something has died inside me…I do not know what it is yet…I know something has been born inside me….I do not know what it is yet…

I have been stalked all my life by terror but I have never yielded…I have withstood pressure and armored depression. I have been beaten, made to taste mud again … and again…and again…and again…but I have always tried to stand up and spit the mud out and wobble forward…again…and again….and again….and again.

I have exorcised my demons and I have slept a long deep sleep of dormant passiveness. I have dreamt of my past….. enveloped in the darkness….the days I spent in the streets. The journeys which I had undertaken had left me bruised and bloody…. Compassion was my bread and vengeance was my wine…these two do not go together you say?? What do you know about pain?? Huh?? Have you felt it?? Of course you have….but not like I have….

I have known the pain…the pain a brother feels on seeing his brother die…...massacred before my eyes and I could do nothing to save him….When I did….I was stabbed and cut down myself and tortured and I bled….

I have now breathed in my deepest fears…..As a person…of flesh and blood I can be corrupted and destroyed but as a symbol….I am incorruptible and indestructible…The mask is on….I have seen their anger…It’s time that my enemies face mine.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

JOLLY DEATH


The cold hands of death burst open from the coffin of morbid ness,

Death stood before me…its hood poised at an angle to the earth.

The wind was cold and the wails of the past rattled me senseless,

Before I knew it Death enveloped me in its shroud, warmth was its dearth.



When I woke up, the walls were black and the floor was bright red,

“Arise my son”, said Death as he motioned to a throne on his right.

On his left I noticed a golden chest and a plate with a loaf of bread,

“The chest contains your soul”, said Death and he laughed with delight.



His laughter amused me and tickled me but I hid my smile,

“What is the bread for??” I asked with a sardonic grin.

“You get to eat it if you beat me….it will give you life”,

Death had given me hope; hope told me that I could win.



“If I ask you the reason for your sins…would you tell me honestly?

Do you blame yourself for them or do you say you were misled?

If your answer pleases me, I will grant you the bread in all surety

If you fail your soul will be sent to hell weighted down with lead”



I remained silent and stared at my feet…while Death waited for a reply,

The air grew tense as Death paced up and down his hood bobbing fiercely.

“Do you have an answer?”Death growled with an exhausted patience supply,

Silence was my answer as Death slowly sniggered as he staggered sloppily.



His staggering was due to his laughter as he doubled over cackling,

His cackling was surprisingly warm and his hood slipped off his head.

I looked Death in the face at last…the sight sent me and my throne reeling,

Death was a jolly old, round faced man who had his hair dyed bright red!!!!



Death had the merriest of eyes and a faced sharpened with lines of wisdom,

His laughter was mellow and rich…..something you associate life with….

“Silence was the correct answer…..you are now a part of life’s kingdom,

Silence depicts humility…the destroyer of blame…you have won kid!!”



“Silence shows that you accept your sins and that you were never misled,

For misled are those who choose to knowingly sin….your heart is clean.

Take the bread and bite into it my son…you rightfully deserve to be fed….

And never think of Death as an old grouch with a venomous spleen”



“I never punish people and deprive them of life because life is my best mate,

I let people realize that life has a cost for being beautiful and ugly.

The cost has to be paid by me as I account for all their sins and mistakes,

I get blamed the most for cutting life short but all I am fulfilling is my duty”



“Life has signed a contract with me and I think you know what it states,

I let those people go who know that Death is not to be blamed and cursed.

Because they accept me as a tax collector who collects taxes for life and fate,

They are the ones who do not crib and act as if their soul’s dam has burst”



“You are free to go my son…I enjoyed my time with you to the last bit,

Till we meet again,tell the world what I told you.Goodbye and khuda hafiz”

I snapped out of my sleep with a jerk and saw that my room was brightly lit,

The eyes that met mine were my beloved’s,I smiled and bubbled with an unknown fizz.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

THE MODERN DAY TROUBLES OF SPORTING A MOUSTACHE AND A PONYTAIL


The idea for this post came about when one fine day (not too long ago...) I decided to sport a Johnny Depp like moustache..... in case you are wondering what I am talking about...I will make it even clearer with a picture...

So I turned up in college the next day...brimming with the newfound confidence one gets filled with after downing a couple of pegs....and I headed straight for my Microprocessor practicals...One of my friends looked at me and swore loudly....the other burst out laughing...the girls started giggling...and my self confidence took a tumble like a pig on roller skates !!


After the practicals I ran into a friend of mine from the Computer Engineering Department who smiled beatifically at me and said, " Kya Abhik...Johnny Deep...". I cursed him inwardly and corrected him, " Depp not Deep ". My luck was as rotten as rat puke that day.....I ran into some of my other friends. Their only aim in life according to me is to ridicule and mock anyone who does not belong to their group and is an intruder trespassing on their territory. The extent of their territory is determined by the positions at which they have scattered themselves.The places which fall under their jurisdiction include the areas which they frequent ( to leer at girls) and the pieces of collegescape (landscape modified...) they have marked with their spit ( or urine..oooppsss...). On spotting me, one of them hopped towards me like a frog on uppers.Using some kind of primitive hand symbols( frankly I thought his fingers resembled toothpicks) he called the rest of the group over...and within seconds they were all over me like ants on a french fry." Why did you keep a moustache??? Bilkul uncleji lag rahe ho..."," Saale moocha rakhne ke liye kisne bola tha ??", " Tu to chindi lag raha hai bilkul !!". With great difficulty I extracted myself from the clutches of the future Bollywood moustache stylists and fled down the staircase only to run into the girl I had found cute during my first few months in college....One look at me and she snorted into her handkerchief.The only person who did not laugh at me was the someone special I keep referring to in my posts...though if she would have seen me..maybe she would have laughed too...or maybe she would not have...


After I reached home I flung the mirror cabinet open and took out my razor....two impulses made me put the razor down..
1) It's my life.........
2) Who can claim to be a man if he has never sported a moustache at one time or another in his life??
After all my moustache does feel strokable and can be used for filtering water and milk if the need arises...so as of now...it's still there...

And since I experiment a lot...I decided to give the tiny ponytail a try....

The reactions were horrible again...people kept tugging at it...girls found it cute(the upside)..the guys found it "chindi"...the teachers found it odd and rebellious because they usually associate me with a plain and simple nerd...I accumulated a lifetime supply of rubber bands by begging for them at shopping malls and grocery stores.

My enemies smirked and I give them the middle finger salute ( behind their backs) .My college watchman insisted that I must have had a dose of female hormones recently and remarked," Ye ladkiyon ki tarah chotti kyon baandh rakha hai ?? Tumhare papa-mummy kuchch kehte nahi kya??"...While my mom labeled me as a gangster, my dad told me to concentrate on my studies and to go and give the barber a visit...my solution was simple...I kept my hair normal at home and tied up my ponytail the moment I stepped out of the house...

The only positives to have come out of my moustache and ponytail are:
1)I now avoid the "Urinary Group".
2)I am now spending more than 10 minutes in front of the mirror(I get to skip Karela juice in breakfast when I am running late for college).....

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

OPEN YOUR EYES !!


Open your eyes my love and behold….

The vast oceans and the distant mountain folds…

Do you see the green depths below you?

Do you see the glittering stars and the dolphins blue?



Open your eyes and behold the cigarette smoke….

Do your lungs burn and do you feel choked??

Then promise that you will never smoke….

And I will treat to the most wonderful artichoke…



Open your eyes and tell me my love divine

Are you wondering why I am talking this rot or am I drunk on wine??

The truth is that I am fed up with life and I am in tatters!!

I cannot open a tin of sardines and I cannot have my breakfast....

Monday, August 11, 2008

SINGH IS UNDOUBTEDLY AND UNDISPUTEDLY THE KING !!!


My salute to Abhinav Bindra....My chest has inflated by 100 inches...(not biologically possible but it is pretty obvious what I mean to state). The first Indian ever to win an Olympic gold medal in an individual event has shown us all that a cool head and the ability to keep one's emotions in check can thrust a person past the finishing line. Even after winning the gold, Abhinav did not succumb to the gamut of emotions raging inside his chest. As he himself said later,"I had a poker face on, but inside it was different".

Abhinav hit a target 0.5mm wide 10 consecutive times...you must be wondering about the significance of the figure 0.5mm. Take a ball point pen and just let it's tip touch the surface of a paper...Do you see the dot??? That's how wide his target was... and he hit that 10 consecutive times from a distance of 10 meters......truly remarkable.

I realised the significance of Abhinav's win only when I watched the feed on Doordarshan with a plate of curd and rice in my hands and my feet were resting on the divan ( College was called off due to heavy rain...hence the luxury)...The sight of India's flag soaring above the other two flags gave me goosebumps...over dramatic you say??? but I swear I felt as if
I was transported to Beijing...into the arena...How I wish I could have lifted him onto my shoulders!! (My shoulders would have cracked.....because I am a frail guy ..anyway...)..I actually kept my plate on the floor and clapped ( that is saying something because I do not leave my curd and rice even if Sourav Ganguly hits a century { I am a Bengali....you see...})...Heres wishing Abhinav all the best for his future endeavors and congratulations to him once again..He has made each and every one of us proud....


Now talking about Singh Is Kinng...this movie is certainly generating the right vibes...Akshay Kumar...man...I admire this guy...he is the only Bollywood actor who stares the Khans in the eyes...in terms of hits and in terms of renumeration....looks like he is going to have another hit on his hands...



Now for this guy...his new album is out..Avengi ja nahi...some of the tracks are absolutely fantastic from my point of view...you could try listening to the title track,Challaya and Ballo. The songs have been sung in Punjabi but Rabbi has infused a bit of earthiness and lilting feel into each song..if you manage to catch the feel..you will have no trouble in deciphering what the lyrics are trying to say.......

I finally got a chance to type all this down after a long time because my results were looming over my head and I was in the blackest of moods...but then that is what Abhinav's gold medal managed to achieve...it made me blog....




I also want to use this space to mourn the late Ishmeet Singh


The smiling lad was truly a gifted singer and his death made me feel sad..for reasons unknown...May his soul rest in peace...


And finally since I am a cricket buff...I offer my deepest condolences to Gary Kirsten ,the Indian coach who lost his mother recently....may her soul rest in peace...




....that I think will be all for now....cause I seem to have crossed the T's and dotted the I's ...I will now resume waiting for my results with bated breath..and oh yeah!!...hope that a special someone kicks her blues away completely and is totally happy and smiling once again.....No No ...I was not talking about Sania Mirza......

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY ????


So what do you say…….we ….leave whatever you are doing right now…I hold your hand and guide you to the highest vantage point in your city and show you the setting sun, the vibrant hues, the flying birds, the never ending sky, the colours of life and make you listen to the thousands of heartbeats in the city below you and make you realize that you are never alone when you feel you are and that you just have to climb higher to remove your obscured viewpoint ????

So what do you say…..we …..lie down on a grassy bank and look at the star filled sky above and admire the twinkling gems and pretend to join the stars and draw imaginary people/cars/buildings or become astrologers for some time and try to predict our futures and make you realize that whenever you want to draw life’s pictures, god has given us an infinite easel to paint our dreams ????

So what do you say…..about you…… keeping quiet and for once listening to the person you love and giving him/her your undivided attention and realizing that there is so much more to know about each other and that a few moments of listening might bring you much closer to him/her than you would have expected ????

So what do you say…..we…… visit an old age home and comfort the ones who need comforting and listen to all those who have a story to tell (because elderly people are full of stories and anecdotes) and assure them that they are not alone and come back home wiser and satisfied ????

So what do you say….about you……. thinking of adopting a child or funding a child’s education and making sure that you help a person realize his/her dreams by giving them a name or showing them the path to success?? After all what’s life if you just live for yourself and do not take other people’s dreams into your hands and try to shape them yourself ????

So what do you say…..about you….. hugging your parents and thanking them for bringing you into this world and telling them how much you love them and how much you admire them ????

So what do you say…..we…….. forgive Sachin / Rahul / Sourav / Laxman /Yuvraj / Dhoni for not scoring sometimes and thank them for all the times that they have scored and for those joyous hours which made you proud to be an Indian ????

So what do you say…………………..about living your life to the hilt and believing that you are truly unique and the world is good because you will find yourself and all the people that you love somewhere in it ???????

Friday, August 1, 2008

THE DUCHESS OF MISHTINAGAR


Piu screamed with delight. Her soft hands grasped the sides of her wheelchair tightly. Her expressive face was wrinkled with lines of wonderment. In front of her stood a huge black couch decorated with glitterati. The couch was also comfortably embellished with several squashy pillows fitted with golden covers. Two small boys stood on either side of the couch wielding large fake spears. ”Is this my throne??? Is it??? tell me that it is…Please…Please…mommy…tell me that it is…”,exclaimed Piu impatiently tugging at her mother’s arm.

A large burly man walked up slowly towards Piu’s mother. He had twinkling blue eyes and a face that was writ with lines of experience and honest hard work. ”Good Evening Surangana…”, he said tipping his hat to Piu’s mother. She responded with a nod of her head. “Welcome Mayor Sahab…welcome.. ” , said Ratan, a small wizened old man.”Aah Ratan…how are you holding up???”, asked the mayor. ”I am doing well Sir…very well.. thank you..”, said Ratan. ”Good Evening Joydeep .. ” ,greeted a tall handsome man who walked over to shake hands with the mayor. ”Shuncho go…could you please help me some of these decorations??”, asked Piu’s mother who had begun to put up ribbons. Piu was zooming about in the well manicured lawn which was buzzing with people on her wheelchair. ”Bas beta…beta …bas…”, said the tall man. “Daddy….did you see my throne???”, gasped Piu as she zoomed towards the tall man. “Yes shona …I did see your beautiful throne….but please do not exert yourself…it is bad for your delicate health remember??” ,said Piu’s father gently. “It is time…..everyone gather around”, shouted Piu’s mother.

“Esteemed ladies and gentlemen and my dear friends…”, began the mayor taking his place at the center of the lawn, “we are gathered here today for a very important occasion. Today we will be anointing the very first duchess of our small and humble town. Since you all know that having our very own duchess will take our town to dizzying heights without any further delay let me introduce to you …our duchess… our very own Piu!!”. The small crowed clapped and applauded wildly. Piu, beaming and smiling was helped by her father and mother onto the large couch. “I now anoint you………Duchess of Mishtinagar!!!”, exclaimed the mayor and placed a glittering crown on her head. The crowd clapped louder and louder. “Mommy…why is my throne black and not golden???”, whispered Piu into her mother’s ear. “It’s the new fashion darling….all the new queens and duchesses prefer black thrones nowadays”, her mother whispered back. Satisfied Piu settled back into her couch to savor the crowd’s reaction and the chants of “All hail Duchess Piu!!!” which had just started to ring out.

TWO WEEKS LATER……

Piu’s mother wiped her eyes. Her husband stood by her side his face buried in his hands sobbing loudly. The mayor walked up to them and said “ My deepest condolences to the both of you ….she was a lovely child…”. “We cannot thank you enough Joydeep…”, said Piu’s father in slurred tones, “ you helped us to fulfill her last wish …her last fancy…..She wanted to become a duchess and you helped us to make her believe that she was one. She was very happy you know….she really did believe that she was a duchess…My beautiful girl…only 12 years old…I thought God had punished her by making her a cripple but then as if it was not enough…blood cancer!!!! My poor daughter Joydeep!! She never stood a chance….she left us Joydeep…”. He broke down completely…sobbing piteously. ”She was not a make believe duchess…she was a real one…she will always be remembered as the girl who dared to dream …..dream of becoming the duchess of our small town..”, said the mayor. He eyes wondered for a moment towards the huge sign across the road which proclaimed “DUCHESS PIU ROAD”. Then his eyes shifted back to focus on Piu’s parents….the parents of the first duchess of Mishtinagar….

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