Thursday, September 25, 2008

IN COILS


Inspired by a certain sweet maiden, this is my first attempt at a 55. Please forgive me if it is horrible and pukey. (A 55 is a short story written in 55 words or less)


He looked at her and smiled inwardly. She was so frail and helpless. He could easily poison her. She looked at him. He appeared so harmless. One blow with a stick could kill him. She served him milk. He lapped it up and slithered back to his snake hole his hunger satiated.

3 comments:

PI said...

wow! this was excellent!

Anonymous said...

erm...i thought of finally paying heed to your mild suggestion, and....well...this is my maiden attempt at a 55(oh dear!!).

I was eyeing her with rapt attention, getting increasingly conscious of my appearance as she drew nearer. I waited breathlessly as she eyed me with scrutiny. The next moment, I was lunged onto the weighing pan. Before I could bristle with pride she said,"That is too much! I will take half of that watermelon."

I'd really like to know your honest opinion and any suggestions for improvement. Thanks :)

Unknown said...

@pseudo : :) :) :) :) thank u angel
@anisha: Great anisha....fantastic....my advice to you is.......keep on writin... :)