ONE DAY...I WENT SHOPPING....

I have now officially joined the list…..The list of men who shop for the gem of their lives (and no !! I am not talking about sons and daughters :) )

I visited this place near my house known as the Mini Market. Two of my female friends had advised me to give this market a try…so I obeyed them and set out on my dangerous and lonely mission. As soon as I set my foot onto the hallowed turf (For most females…this market is the Mecca of shopping) I was greeted with chaos, mayhem and chatter. In a peek I estimated that the place was crawling with about 500 females and 4 males including me… One of the guys had a face as green as a lizard as he was lugging around a particularly smelly bag of fish while his wife was sprinting like Usain Bolt from one stall to another. The other guy was being punched around by his girlfriend who according to me had sworn to empty the poor guy’s wallet. The third guy was calmly lumbering around with about 10 kilograms of vegetables while his mother was having a shouting match with the vegetable vendor.

My mission led me deeper into this den of heckling, barter and bargaining. As my two wise lady friends had already given me the location of the shop…I had no trouble in reaching it. The trouble started when I set foot inside the shop…There was not even a single male shopper!! I was on my own!! Defenseless!! I scanned my surroundings….Huge walls and an infinite number of rotating transparent cabinets……. Millions of goods, thousands of colours, hundreds of designs….my head whirled and I almost fainted…The shopkeeper sensed my weakness and rushed to my aid…”How can I help you Sir??” he asked displaying a set of rotting molars and canines… I smiled helplessly.” First time eh?? Shopping for whom?? Sister, Mom or Girlfriend??” he prodded. Damn him!! How did he know that I was a first timer…I unconsciously checked the back of my shirt for a paper sign which may have been put up by my friends proclaiming “CAUTION!! FIRST TIMER….HANDLE WITH CARE!!! “.I smiled again and asked him to show me a collection of the thing I had in mind.”Saale!! Iddhar aa !!” the shopkeeper yelled…I was temporarily lost in my own world as I struggled to decipher the word saale. Was this guy useless or was he married to the shopkeeper’s sister?? I was jerked out of my train of thoughts when the guy arrived displaying another set of brownish red teeth…I subconsciously decided that I would anonymously send a large packet of toothbrushes and toothpaste to this shop as soon as I would get a job…

The guy started displaying the wares and after half an hour of painful contemplation and thought I made my choice….I was inwardly feeling very proud…like an Olympic medalist (Congratulations!! Sushil and Vijender ) Some women shoppers elbowed me out of the way because they felt that I was blocking their view. Another gave me a killing look as I was taking too long at the counter. I paid the bill and fled………………….

As I stepped outside the shop…I understood a part of female emotions and admired their quality to select a single thing out of a stock of millions. I am nervous because I do not know whether my choices are good enough but I am proud because I went in there and I survived angry elbows, an angry cow’s tail lash and an angrier woman’s purse lash….

I also learnt that women are indeed beautiful beings and it is worth adorning them because the smile on their faces and the happiness in their eyes makes them look ethereal. Sorry Honey…I meant you and not women…:really …I swear…(you are so beautiful ) :): )