Tuesday, November 4, 2008

SHOLAY >>> RE POLITICIZED :) : PART 1


The world political scene is SO delightful ( and alarming ) today, so very comparable to SHOLAY… Ha ha ha ha ha … Every time I think of it, I collapse backwards laughing like a maniac…. Let us just put my point into perspective and enjoy a few laughs along the way because the way I see it, quite a few of our characters are going to be shot down in the most deplorable high noon cowboy style shootout, and no….. :) they are not going to be buried with their boots on :) [ which would be an honor they do not deserve , except for a select few ].


SHOLAY

Director : Hell….nobody, the film is recording itself :)

Producers : All the democrats.

Cast :

Jai – B. Obama

Veeru – McCain

Basanti- Sarah Palin

Dhanno- Vilaasrao Deshmukh

Radha- C. Rice

Thakur- Manmohan Singh

Ramlal – Laloo Prasad Yadav

Mausiji- Sonia Gandhi

Bade Imam Sahab- Nicolas Sarkozy

Gabbar- George Bush

Samba- Zardari

Kaalia – Richard B Cheney


Here are some of the famous dialogues and scenes twisted in my wicked way, if this film would really have been made :)


Gabbar : Ye nuclear deal ka green signal pehle tu de de thakur…..

Hum log tumhare baad sign karenge…

Thakur : Nahi, Nahi…..

Gabbar : De de, Thakur….. DE DE mujhe…….

Thakur : ( Sings SINGH IS KING loudly and dances about)




Basanti : waise sau bat ki ek baat yeh hai ki mai utna bolti nahi par mujhe mehnge mehnge kapde pehenkar debate mein jana achcha lagta hai

Veeru : Arre, tum meri ho jao, tumhe kabhi kapdon ki kami nahi hogi




Jai sits outside his quarters and plays GOD BLESS AMERICA on his mouthorgan while C. Rice switches the White House lights on and off slowly and repeatedly.




Gabbar : Kitne aadmi the?

Kaalia : Do sarkar…..

Gabbar : Usme se kahin ek aadmi bearded to nahi tha??

Kaalia : Osama? Nahi sarkar

Gabbar : 2 candidates aur tum 6 phaltoo chamche, yeh to sarasar mere liye buri khabar hai (4 saal aur white house mein masti karni thi ) badi naainsafi hai….

Kaalia : Sarkar, maine aapka White House ka jootha doughnut khaya hai Sarkar….

Gabbar : Le ab Iraq me daali hui bomb kha…..




Gabbar : Arre O Samba, election ke results kab hai ?

Samba : (Busy settling his hair with kilotons of gel) [starts and falls off his perch into the ravine below] : {calls out from below} Sorry Sardar, Pervez ne naya kabeela banaya hai Ramgadh ke paas…

Gabbar : Kitna inaam rakhkha hai Sarkar ne humare sar pe?

Samba : Poore, 50,000 Iraqi chicken tikke Sarkar…




Gabbar : Bahut yarana lagta hai tum dono mein, arre Chamakchalo hume bhi dikhao na do teen election campaigning ke secrets….

Veeru : Nahi Basanti, mat naachna in neech democrats ke saamne…

Gabbar : Jab tak tum high heel boots pehen kar naachogi, tab tak isko main Statue Of Liberty se neeche nahi giraanonga……

Veeru : Kutte, Kamine…. main tera White House wala milk shake pee jaoonga……




Thakur : Ramlal, mujhe mera shawl pehna do…..

Ramlal : abhi nahi…dhuut, abhi to Chaat Puja hai…main Bihar vapas jar raha hoon….




TO BE CONTINUED :)

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